St Mark’s Coptic Church Scotland Youth Conference Oct. 2015

Aim Summary of the journey so far Common Traps The Healing Journey Why Resistance Practical Steps Common Questions

In summary… No one had a faultless fatherhood. Our “father figure” affects our perception of God’s fatherhood. God’s revealed Himself as a Perfect Father The Lord will provide The Lord that heals The Lord my shepherd The Lord is there The Lord who sanctifies The Lord is Peace The Lord is our righteousness

In Summary This is a call to discover and enjoy His fatherhood. Not to blame or encourage victimisation. But to reconcile and get healed The Lord breaks your chains in pieces You need to draw the line He gave us what is His He is in me and I in Him Take the right direction and position Be grateful for what you have Forgive & Intercede

Common Traps Avoiding Here and Now Either Future or past Denial of reality Defensiveness Fusion or identification Splitting Either good or bad parent Idealise or denigrate Hopelessness Irrecoverable damage

Common Traps Generalisation They are all bad/the same Biased conclusion I am the only one Keeping the Gap Between knowing and believing Surrender to Feelings Bad/bitter/angry/failure Shifting focus On dad or me not God’s call and grace

The Healing Journey Not mere change of thoughts but Experience that involves feelings Change of beliefs Change of behaviour Having The Mind of Christ for, "Who has known the mind of the Lord so as to instruct him?" But we have the mind of Christ. 1Co 2:16 Revelations, exchange, joy and change, hunger for more, Revelations

The Healing Journey Targets various distortions Self image/ identity Image of God Viewing others Involves negative feelings A woman giving birth to a child has pain because her time has come; but when her baby is born she forgets the anguish because of her joy that a child is born into the world. Jhn 16:21

The Healing Journey Growth in relationship No individualism Divine-human act Now we have received, not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, that we might know the things that have been freely given to us by God. 1Co 2:12 I need to fear not and Make a choice

Who Wants to Change?

The crowd rebuked them and told them to be quiet, but they shouted all the louder, "Lord, Son of David, have mercy on us!" Jesus stopped and called them. "What do you want me to do for you?" he asked. Mat 20:32 When Jesus saw him lying there and learned that he had been in this condition for a long time, he asked him, "Do you want to get well?" John 5:6

Resistance I feel like I have walls around me. I find it hard for the words to go deep in my heart. Truth feels distant. Part of me doesn’t accept the Fatherhood of God. I have mixed feelings.

Reaction to “Trauma”

Feelings/Body Sensations Behavioural Patterns Life Rules and Principles Default Beliefs

Example: - Submit - Withdraw I must please others I am Unlovable

Example Keep people away I shouldn’t trust I am not safe

Example Seeking approval Unless it’s perfect… I am not good enough

Can God Invade My Resistance? For the word of God [is] living and powerful, and sharper than any two- edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit, and of joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart. Heb 4:12 And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God; Eph 6:17 Has He done it before?

How About My Feelings? For God is my witness, how greatly I long for you all with the affection of Jesus Christ. Phl 1:8 Rejoice in the Lord always. Again I will say, rejoice! Phl 4:4 We have myths about feelings They always tell the truth They cannot be changed I cannot induce feelings They occur without reason

Practical Steps What will you do differently? What have you Learned?

Time for Questions

Common Questions How do I know I am not judging my dad? What’s the guarantee that opening up will lead to healing? How can I make a start if I am lacking trust? How can I carry on if my feelings aren’t there What is my role and what is God’s role? Why me? Where was God when I was vulnerable? What if I don’t know what it means to be a dad?