Teen Brain Development

Autobiographical and Emotional Memory

What is the one quality I would give to my child?

Resilience

Definition  Psychological resilience is defined as an individual's ability to properly adapt to stress and adversity thus making the most of heir situation.

Bottom Line Young people live up or down to expectations we set for them.

What makes up resilience? Competence Confidence Character Contribution Coping Control

Competence Competence is the ability or know ‐ how to handle situations effectively. It's not a vague feeling or hunch that “I can do this.” It’s acquired through actual experience

Confidence Children gain confidence by demonstrating their competence (know how)in real situations. Confidence is not warm ‐ and ‐ fuzzy self ‐ esteem that supposedly results from telling kids they’re special or precious. Children who experience their own competence and know they are safe and protected develop a deep ‐ seated security that promotes the confidence to face and cope with challenges.

Character Children need a fundamental sense of right and wrong to ensure they are prepared to make wise choices, contribute to the world, and become stable adults. Children with character enjoy a strong sense of self ‐ worth and confidence. They are more comfortable sticking to their values and Less likely to be lead by others.

Contribution It is a powerful lesson when children realise that the world is a better place because they are in it. Teens who contribute to their Communities/environment will be surrounded by reinforcing ‘thank you’s’ instead of the low expectations and condemnation so many teens endure.

Coping Children who learn to cope effectively with stress are better prepared to overcome life’s challenges. The best protection against unsafe, worry behaviours may be a wide range of positive coping skills.

Control When children realise that they can control the outcomes of their decisions and actions, they’re more likely to know that they have the ability to do what it takes to bounce back. On the other hand, if parents make all the decisions, children are denied opportunities to learn control..

Bottom Line What we do to model healthy resilience strategies for our children is more important than anything we say about them

“Resilience is accepting your new reality, even if it's less good than the one you had before. Your choice is - fight it, you can do nothing but scream about what you've lost, or you can accept that and try to put together something that's good.” (Elizabeth Edwards – Author)

Summary What can we practically do to work with the child to facilitate the change? Talk - Break the problem down to its smaller parts. Prepare - anticipate difficulty and workout possible solutions Imagine you are arrived at the other side of the transition Q. What do I now know that would have been helpful to have known at the start? Be Patient – new skills take time Live in the moment – plan only for today in your head, tomorrow's challenges must wait till tomorrow. Learn from previous efforts Normalise – anxiety is useful and part of change

Finally “ Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do.” - Benjamin Spock

Resources For brain development see Frances Jensen Youtube -Teenage Brain parts 1,2 and 3 For resilience see Psychological resilience – youtube- Daniel Lapsley (17mins)