Supporting children with attachment difficulties in schools Author and trainer Louise Michelle Bomber Was part of the SEAD project, 2011

‘What About Me?’ Children and young people who have experienced relational traumas and losses are at risk of being misunderstood, developing mental health difficulties and of exclusion.

Our Starting Point ‘Children are not slates from which the past can be rubbed by a duster or sponge, but human beings who carry their previous experiences with them and whose behaviour in the present is profoundly affected by what has gone before.’ Bowlby 1951, p.114

Behind The Behaviour Behaviour needs to be viewed as communication Featues observed:- *Unmet primary needs *Developmental needs *Toxic shame *Trust issues * High levels of anxiety * Fear & panic

Secure Attachment If a child is upset they know they can approach an adult directly and positively, knowing that their distress will be recognised and responded to unconditionally, with comfort and understanding. “Resiliance”

Relational trauma and losses can impact: Primitive brain reactions Executive functioning skills Sensory integration Eating habits & diet/physical Attachment with others Shame levels Need to control/hypervigilance Anxiety levels

In class we are attempting to get alongside a pupil who: Is terrified deep down of intimacy Has a number of developmental vulnerabilities Can become easily overwhelmed with toxic shame Can get mixed up between the here & now and the past Has a faulty alarm system inside Is not that self aware Doesn’t trust grown ups

Roy J Lewicki & Edward C Tomlinson Distrust ‘Distrust is the confident expectation that another’s individual’s motives, intentions and behaviours are sinister and harmful to one’s own interests. In interdependent relationships this often entails a sense of fear and anticipation of discomfort or danger. Distrust normally prompts us to take steps that reduce our vulnerability in an attempt to protect our interests...’ Roy J Lewicki & Edward C Tomlinson (Dec 2003)

We now need to explore how to best support children with an insecure or disorganised trauma. Those who are distrustful, shamed to the point of it becoming toxic, hyper vigilant, struggle to settle, don’t trust and have to be in total control.

To acknowledge that behaviour is a means of communication stories Louise shares. dinner time story the run away

Chaos On paper write your routine prior to leaving for work. Share it with another. Was it the same? Routines should be consistent to over come the prior chaos. Routines should be clearly visable. Routines should minimise change.

Toxic Shame To maintain privacy to the child and adults in the room. A card on the desk instead of stuck on the wall. Use a puppet to help the child understand rather than the child.

A game that helps the child be lead by another. How long can I follow your pencil. Child and then adult.

Transferring support The child doesn’t settle well and is troubled that their parent isnt with them. Write what you can do……. Home to school. School to home.

Key person to the child can provide a higher quality care Key person to the child can provide a higher quality care.. Page 12, Attachment Relationships Early Childhood Open University Press High quality care is care that is Attentive, responsive, stimulating and affectionate. Child will flourish, especially cognitively. Small teams with a key person is an ideal. Time in for the child, time out for the adult.

Translation Two people. One has a toy. The other needs to describe the other using sentences that start with ‘You or your…’ Add to your sentence any emotions the other person displays. Swop

Hypervigilance If any change then verbalise it to the child prior or on entry. Verbalise how safe we are to show you understand. Activity that supports focus. Short bursts of learning. Lots of sensory activity.

Reading and Courses Louise Bomber Team Teach at Springwell CAMHS Play therapists Voluntary groups such as Chrysalis, Adoption Yorkshire

Remember me Build a genuine relationship with me Tell me as it is I’m watching Can I trust you? Advocate for me Don’t just tell me. Show me. Remember my starting point Join with me Are you going to hurt me too? Don’t assume anything Give me some space but not too much Stick in there with me though I push you away

The Positive Impact Of Attachment Support On Pupils Sense of belonging Sense of worth, value & dignity Self awareness & control Settling to learn Contributing Improved educational outcomes Well being Healthy relating The family can concentrate on home issues knowing that school can be trusted to support their child. The child is more likely to reach their potential. Staff cascade training to other staff and use with children at risk, in care or adopted.

The Positive Impact Of Attachment Support On Teachers Lower incidences of stress Job satisfaction Freed up to ‘teach’ Increased tool bank Better understanding of the direct connection between emotional growth & learning The family can concentrate on home issues knowing that school can be trusted to support their child. The child is more likely to reach their potential. Staff cascade training to other staff and use with children at risk, in care or adopted.

The Positive Impact Of Attachment Support on Parents & Carers Partnership rather than isolation Advocacy on behalf of their child Reduced stress Increased placement stability Increased tool bank as strategies are shared between home & school The family can concentrate on home issues knowing that school can be trusted to support their child. The child is more likely to reach their potential. Staff cascade training to other staff and use with children at risk, in care or adopted.