Romantic love- attraction and idealizing one another (found in most societies) – Role of love differs from one society to another – Western life seen as only basis for marriage – Two components- emotional (feeling of attraction), cognitive (label we attach to those feelings, being in love)

Marriage – Patterns follow predictable patterns – Age, social class, education, race – People with similar characteristics in these areas marry each other (homogamy) – Social upheavals of 1960’s brought down race barrier to marriage

Trends in U.S Families Family life in US undergoing a fundamental shift Women postpone marriage and childbirth One reason it has changed is because cohabitation has become more accepted Level of commitment is major difference between marriage and cohabitation Easier to end relationship Couples who cohabitate before marriage more likely to divorce

Births to unmarried mothers has increased Becoming more common for grandparents to raise children (skipped generation families) Sandwich generation- people who care for parents and children People usually between 40-55, leaves little time for personal interests

Divorce rate depends on where you live Has increased over the years Race and ethnicity factor in divorce

Marriage at an early age. A short acquaintanceship before marriage. Disapproval of the marriage by relatives and friends. Limited economic resources Having a high-school education or less. Parents who are divorced or have unhappy marriages. The presence of children at the beginning of the marriage.

Children of Divorce More likely to experience emotional problems Lower graduation rates, more likely to divorce themselves 75-80% do function well Children close to both parents make best adjustment Effects of divorce found across generations, grandchildren of divorce have weaker bonds with their parents and higher rates of marital discord with their parents

Serial fatherhood new pattern that has emerged Divorced father maintains contact with children right after divorce, sees them less as time goes on Women more likely than men to feel divorce gives them a “new life’ More likely to cause economic hardship for women, women’s standard of living drops about a third Remarriage many remarry, most divorced people marry other divorced people – Men more likely to remarry If you have children, more likely to divorce because of nature of complicated relationships

Two Sides of Family Life Dark side Battering, rape, incest, child abuse Battering- likely to occur equally between men and women Women injured more often Related to sexist structure of society Norms encourage men to use aggression and violence to control women Child Abuse – Most is never brought to our attention

Two Sides of Family Life Marital or Intimacy Rape- more common than thought Occurs in cohabiting couples (intimacy rape) Victims suffer from shock, anger, depression after incident Incest- sexual relations between certain relatives Usually occurs in families that are socially isolated Most common offenders cousins, fathers, brothers

Two Sides of Family Life Most Americans report that they have a happy marriage (60%) Factors that make a happy marriage: 1.Agree with Spouse Aims and Goals 2.Believe Spouse Grown More Interesting 3.Want Relationship to Succeed 4.Laugh Together 5.Spouse is Best Friend 6.Like Spouse as Person 7.Think Marriage is Long-Term Commitment 8.Believe Marriage is Sacred

Two Sides of Family Life Happy Families 1.Spend a Lot of Time Together 2.Are Quick to Express Appreciation 3.Committed to Promoting Mutual Welfare 4.Talk and Listen a Lot 5.Are Religious 6.Deal with Crises Positively

The Future of Marriage and Family Future of marriage 1.Will continue because of its positive functions 2.Cohabitation, births to single mothers, age at first marriage will increase 3.Women will continue to gain marital power 4.We will continue to see the “sandwich generation”’ until bay boomers die off 5.Distorted myths of marriage will continue (negative and positive)