SENTENCES WITH SUBSTANCE Don’t Stall Out on the Paper Highway

Sentences Without Substance  Many of you are getting better and better at writing argumentative thesis statements and using textual evidence.  Most of you, however, are still using a lot of vague language in your sentences that obscures your impressive ideas.  I call these “sentences without substance.”

Write specific sentences.  Think of your argument as a vehicle moving from point A (the statement of your argument) to point B (a reader convinced of your argument).  You should always be moving forward.  Sentences without substance are like a stalled out car /index24.html

Does this sentence have substance?  “Margaret Atwood uses many interesting images to describe what happens at the birth ceremony.”

How about this sentence?  “Alexander Pope does a wonderful job of teaching the audience how to relate to how he views certain things in the world. This is a beautiful piece of work because he combines many different poetic techniques in order to get his sense of feeling conveyed to the audience.”

Rank them.  “The word and sound choices in the second stanza are very defined and draw attention to the stanza as a whole.”  “In this poem, the use of the t, c, and w sounds helps to convey the idea of a son’s fear of his father which later turns to respect.”  “The use of the sound in his words are accompanied with back to back alliterations, and even in this small sample of his work, one can see how well Pope blends words with sounds.”

What needs to change?  “Alexie’s short story can be analyzed to show a gloomy outlook. His narrator uses many interesting anecdotes that show how life for Indians differs from life in the rest of society.”

What makes this substantial?  “Jackson’s sarcastic asides to his ‘white’ audience and his use of the second person create a sense of antagonism between the narrator and his audience. Alexie uses this antagonistic tone to suggest that his audience should question the assumption that they already know the reasons behind Indian homelessness.”

Tips for Substantial Sentences  Never write “filler” sentences. I prefer short papers long on content over long papers short on content.  Use the most precise word you can think of to avoid vague language.  Avoid empty words like “really,” “very,” and “interesting.”  Keep asking yourself the questions “how” and “why” to inspire more specific language.

Final Thoughts  Challenge yourself to meet assignment length requirements by expanding your ideas or going into more detail with your analysis of a text rather than writing extra sentences to fill the page.  Page requirements are meant to indicate the breadth and depth necessary to fulfill the assignment goals.