Unit 3 Lessons 15 & 16 EXAMINING DATING & FRIENDSHIPS

BALANCED FRIENDSHIPS  Are friendships in which two people give and receive acts of kindness with each other.

HOW DOES IT AFFECT YOUR EMOTIONAL & PHYSICAL HEALTH? * acts of giving stimulate the brain to release endorphins; you feel increased energy, relaxation & improved mood. * acts of receiving help you feel cared about = Resiliency

INITIATING FRIENDSHIPS...  Have you ever noticed that people often meet each other for the first time because they are talking about a similar interest? Friendships begin by using communication skills.

 What do I know about this person?  Does this person have good character?  Will my parents/guardian approve of my spending time with this person? QUESTIONS TO ASK YOURSELF ABOUT A PERSON BEFORE BEGINNING A FRIENDSHIP?

 Is a verbal exchange of feelings. “keepers”“killers” Asking questions* talking about yourself Showing interest (saying)* appearing disinterested Considering other ideas* being a “know it all” Encouraging/ being positive* complaining Making eye contact* avoiding eye contact Listening carefully* talking about others CONVERSATION

 Is the feeling of being unwelcome or unwanted. How do you respond to rejection? * use I-messages to share your feelings… * share your feelings with a trusted adult * remember that you are worthwhile even when a person does not want to be your friend, or a friend does not include you. REJECTION…

WHY PRACTICING ABSTINENCE IS A RESPONSIBLE DECISION…  Promotes your health - emotional? - physical? - social?  Follows laws - legal age of consent? 18  Shows respect for self & others - reputation  Follows guidelines of your parents/guardians  Demonstrates good character - Values? Character?

 Limit your expressions of affection to holding hands, hugging & causal kissing;  Tell the person your “limits” before expressing affection;  Do not date someone who doesn’t respect your limits… GUIDELINES THAT HELP YOU SET LIMITS:

 Avoid drinking alcohol & using other drugs that impair your good judgment;  Do not date someone who chooses to drink or do drugs to impair their better judgment;  Stay in public places when on a date.

 Focus on keeping your self-respect: ** if you respect yourself, others will respect you, too! ** Question : What do you really “think” about someone who “gives in”?  Recognize lines peers might use to pressure you  Use resistance skills ** say “NO”. Having Confidence will help you avoid situations where you might be pressured to have sex. HOW TO SAY “NO” IF YOU ARE PRESSURED TO BE SEXUALLY ACTIVE:

 If you love me, you’ll have sex with me;  You can’t get pregnant the first time;  I’m safe. You won’t get STD’s or HIV;  Everybody else is doing it;  I’ll always love you;  Grow up, we’re in high school;  You know you really want to … I can tell;  If you won’t do it, I’ll find someone who will;  I think you owe it to me… I’ve been patient. “LINES” USED TO PRESSURE YOU INTO HAVING SEX…

 Be confident, when you say “NO”…  Give reasons why you use abstinence * promote your health * follow laws * show respect for self and others  Make sure non-verbal language supports your message  Avoid certain situations that compromise your values  Avoid being with someone who pressure you to be sexually active  Influence your friends to make “good” choices RESISTING PEER PRESSURE…

 To change your behavior if you’ve been sexually active: * write the “pro’s and con’s” for having sex * consider the health consequences that may have occurred from being sexually active… * break off the relationship if the person will not agree to respect your choice to be abstinence * reevaluate the influence of the group you hang out with * be honest and direct about you commitment to be abstinent when beginning new relationships STEPS YOU CAN TAKE…