ELTM31 Is it Misbehavior? Entry-Level Training Module III: Lesson Two

ELTM32 Positive Guidance “What is wrong with these kids?” “If their parents would only…” “When I was a child we would have never…” 1. “What behaviors do YOU find challenging? 2. “Where do these behaviors come from?

ELTM33 Mistaken Goals Everyone has the need to belong, to feel a sense of worth and significance. When we don’t feel a sense of belonging, we can become discouraged and look for ways to feel like we belong. When a child becomes discouraged, s/he will often misbehave.

ELTM34 Goals of Misbehavior Attention Power Revenge Fear of failure/inadequacy

ELTM35 Causes of Misbehavior 1. Developmental Stage? 2. Individual difference/temperament? 3. Environment? 4. New/unfamiliar skill/task or misunderstanding? 5. Unmet emotional need? 1. Attention (1x) 2. Power (10x) 3. Revenge (100x) 4. Fear of failure (1000x)

ELTM36 Professional Discipline Strategies are... based on knowledge of children's needs and developmental appropriateness (observe the child, know the child) nurturing and empathetic (know your hot buttons) objective, focused on the things we actually see and hear used to promote high self-esteem recognized as having a powerful impact on children consistent with parents’ discipline style (whenever possible)

ELTM37 What to Expect from Infants No intentional behavior before 8-10 months No self-control, all reflexive or reactive behaviors Kicks and flails when angry, gets angry over discomfort, boredom, may have tantrums Withdraws from adults when over-stimulated, tired, distressed, or adult is unfamiliar Explores objects by mouthing, biting, shaking, banging, and throwing Eats with hands, smears food all over

ELTM38 What to Expect from Toddlers Constantly on the move, exploring (learning) Loves to dump, pour, carry objects Impulsive, possessive, aggressive Interested in cause and effect, beginning to develop some self-control Easily overwhelmed, frustrated (tantrums) Uses a “love object” for comfort (blanket, bear, etc.) Separation anxiety Imitates everything, tries to be a big girl or big boy

ELTM39 What to Expect from Preschoolers Makes intentional choices Can verbalize needs and desires Still egocentric, gets angry when doesn’t get his/her way Aggressive, competitive, intense Can’t distinguish between intentional/unintentional behavior Peer relationships are volatile (on again, off again)

ELTM310 What to Expect from School-agers Less physically active Still aggressive, mostly verbally May sulk and hold grudges Wants to be first, best, everything must be fair Begins to use logic, argue with authority Friendships are becoming extremely important Increased self-control

ELTM311 Increasing Cooperation and Self-Control Respond positively to the child Demonstrate sensitivity Demonstrate acceptance of the child Show affection, appreciation Cooperate with the child Use positive communication Teach cooperation and conflict resolution