Directed writing LO: To be able to use information from the text to inform your writing. Starter: What do you think the climber is feeling? What might he be considering? What might he have to respond to? Deduce – arrive at an idea Based on reasoning. Enrichment: Write the answer to each question as the climber (1 st person)

Let’s practise our commas! Embedded clause = added information Boring: Bear Grylls teaches people ways to survive in the wild. Better: Bear Grylls, who eats maggots, teaches people ways to survive in the wild. Punctuation pit stop Add an embedded clause to this sentence. Bear Grylls climbed the mountain face. Embedded or ‘add in’ clauses tell you something about the subject. In this case, Bear Grylls.

Q1 You need to be able to absorb the main ideas in the text. This means you: Understand the tone/mood Recognise key events Understand emotions/feelings being hinted at

Real exam example Imagine that you are the reporter, Rob Buchanan. You interview Dean Potter after the climb and ask the following questions: Incredible! How did you manage to climb the face so quickly? How do you answer people who say that what you do is foolish? Can you tell us about your relationship with your climbing partner, O’Neill? Write the words of the interview. Base your interview on what you have read in Passage A and be careful to use your own words. Write between 1½ and 2 sides, allowing for the size of your handwriting. Up to fifteen marks are available for the content of your answer, and up to five marks for the quality of your writing.

15 reading marks 5 points for each bullet point! (use your own words to plan) How did you manage to climb the face so quickly? How do you answer people who say that what you do is foolish your relationship with your climbing partner, O’Neill? TOP TIP Try to answer all bullet points equally

Response to Q1 Exemplar May/June 2011 Rob Buchanan: Incredible! How did you manage to climb the face so quickly? Dean Potter: Well, speed is my thing, whenever I complete a climb; the one thing that I focus on is making it under my target time. I’m aware at all times of how long it is taking because of the watch that I loop onto my harness. I can’t take my eyes off it when it is at the correct angle for me to see it as I go up. Additionally, I’ve worked really hard on my fitness and agility meaning that I am in the best shape possible this year, which makes it a lot easier to climb with speed. Whenever I climb, I make it like a race, we always have a countdown before we start and constantly let each other know how long it’s been. Finally, the most helpful thing I can do as preparation for a climb is to make myself aware of the footholds and pegs that are already in existence – utilising what is already there and knowing where it is saves precious minutes. RB: How do you answer people who say that what you do is foolish? DP: Ha! I’m repeatedly being described as “foolish” or “insane” by the media and yet I’ve never had an accident yet. I’m meticulous about planning my climbs, the climate, location and conditions are all vital. Also, I think making my own lightweight harness instead of trusting a mass-produced factory-made one makes much more sense. I know exactly how it is made and I have also made sure that the stitching is particularly tight around the pressure points. Generally I prefer climbing with no equipment whatsoever but if the climb is exceptionally tough then I’m not stupid, I will take some with me. Today’s climb is an example of that, I took some rope and spring loaded devices as El Capitan is notoriously challenging. Furthermore, I’ve had a lot of people ask me about that, people seem to think that my lack of equipment is me not being careful. In fact, I think the opposite is true. If I am weighed down by unnecessary bottles of water and heavy tins of food then my balance is much more likely to be compromised, additionally, I think anyone can go without food or water for four hours so why bother taking it with you? RB: Can you tell us about your relationship with your climbing partner, O’Neill? DP: We’ve been climbing together for a very long time, it’s almost like we have a telepathic connection, even when we are metres apart on the rock face. He has the same goals as me, it’s all about speed. I couldn’t climb with someone who didn’t focus on the clock at all times. I’d probably go as far as to say that O’Neill is even more fearless than me. He has had some pretty bad falls – today could have been very nasty – and yet he never ever gives up. To climb with someone step by step all of the way up is virtually impossible as you have different times when you are faster or slower. However, O’Neill and I always heave ourselves over the top of the face together, no matter what has happened during a climb. That is very special. We’ve had some amazing experiences together. We always plan our trips together and discuss whether we need any equipment. If we do decide to take any then we always share it. On a climb like today’s there is a huge sense of reassurance to be gained by knowing that your partner is at the other end of a 200-foot long piece of rope.

Assess the example response Did the student: Use their own words? Write in character? Use implicit information in the text? Answer each bullet point equally?

Question 2 Starter What mood does this create? The cloud crumbling overhead as the shards of light stabbed at the rugged surface of the earth. LO: To be able to explain the effect of a piece of writing and using quotes to support Enrichment Which word in the quotes is most effective? Why? Moving on up… Can you identify the verbs? Can you spot the use of personification?

Q2 = Point Evidence Analyse Explain

This is a question two exemplar plan PointEvidence (a quote) Analyse Language 1. The writer creates the image that Dean Potter is like an animal. “With his wide-set brown eyes, prominent and slightly battered- looking nose, tumbling mane and barrel chest” The writer describes Dean Potter in a way which suggests he is like a lion, “tumbling mane.” This creates the image that Dean is the “king” of rock climbing much like a lion is the “king of the jungle.” Additionally Dean again like a lion is brave, physically strong, someone to be feared as well as admired. 2 3

You could set it out like this: P - The writer creates the image that Dean Potter is like an animal. E - “With his wide-set brown eyes, prominent and slightly battered-looking nose, tumbling mane and barrel chest”. AL - The writer describes Dean Potter in a way which suggests he is like a lion, “tumbling mane.” This creates the image that Dean is the “king” of rock climbing much like a lion is the “king of the jungle.” Additionally Dean again like a lion is brave, physically strong, someone to be feared as well as admired.

You could set it out like this: The writer creates the image that Dean Potter is like an animal. “With his wide-set brown eyes, prominent and slightly battered-looking nose, tumbling mane and barrel chest”. The writer describes Dean Potter in a way which suggests he is like a lion, “tumbling mane.” This creates the image that Dean is the “king” of rock climbing much like a lion is the “king of the jungle.” Additionally Dean again like a lion is brave, physically strong, someone to be feared as well as admired. This is 1 PEAL paragraph! You need to do two for the first paragraph and two for the second. If you have space, do a third.

Q3 = Summarise What does a summary mean? LO: To be able to reduce an text to its most significant points The King is dead and there will be no replacement. Elvis Presley, the founder, the most passionate figure in rock and roll, died last night in the emergency ward of Memphis Baptist Hospital of "acute respiratory distress." A hospital spokesman said Presley was found unconscious at his home by his road manager, Joe Esposito, who called the fire department ambulance. Ambulance personnel tried to resuscitate the singer as he was being rushed to hospital but Presley's personal physician, pronounced him dead. Thus ended at the age of 42 the career of the man who recorded more than 400 songs, who sold more than 260 million records and who will always embody rock and roll. Elvis Aaron Presley was born on January 8, 1935 in East Tupelo, Mississippi. His twin brother Jesse died at birth and his parents, Vernon and Gladys Presley, raised him in the kind of loving and religious poor white home which was the very essence of the deep south. In pairs, reduce the information below into four sentences which include the most essential information. TRY to use your own words! watch?v=CiY5yE3TBgA

a)What are you summarising? b)What are you summarising? Using a highlighter, find 8 points for each texts! Remember, when you write your response, it needs to be in your own words. 3 rd person – DO NOT write in character! Be factual and objective. No describing!

This is what the plan might look like 1.A medical form must be completed to prove the satisfactory health of the players 2.Protective clothing must be worn 3.An eye mask protects damage from eyes 4.The paintballs, being made of gel and are therefore harmless 5.Paintballs cannot be fired at speeds above a legal limit 6.An instructor gives guidance on the strict rules and arranges a practice session 7.Since the equipment is checked, accidents are very rare, and in fact other sports are more dangerous than paintballing. 8.Paintballing is considered to be safe for families 1.El Capitan famous rock for being difficult to climb 2.El Capitan’s main feature is that it has a is a 2,000 foot vertical wall with an overhanging shelf 3.The climber was under-equipped for his climb 4.An added danger was reckless speed 5.There was a dangerous rushed start 6.The first climber did not wait until his partner had reached the first metal peg 7.Being joined by a rope meant that a fall by one of the pair could pull the other partner down too. Passage B – why paint balling is safe Passage A – why climbing is dangerous

This is what the paragraphs look like Passage B - Paintballing is safe enough for families and non-experienced people to participate in these pretend battles. A medical form must be completed to prove the satisfactory health of the players, who are then issued with protective clothing which includes an eye mask. The paintballs, being made of gel, are harmless, and they cannot be fired at speeds above the legal limit. An instructor gives guidance on the strict rules and arranges a practice session. Since the equipment is checked, accidents are very rare, and in fact other sports are more dangerous than paintballing. Passage A - El Capitan is a notoriously difficult and much feared rock for climbers in the USA, because of its 2,000 foot vertical wall followed by an overhanging shelf, and its narrow handholds. Potter was under-equipped for his climb in various ways, including the fact that his harness was homemade and insubstantial. Added dangers were the necessity for reckless speed, which involved a rushed start rather than waiting until his partner had reached the first metal peg. Being joined by a rope meant that a fall by one of the pair could pull the other partner down too.