Setting clear expectations for great outcomes during your student’s or young adult’s visit home. Deborah Gilboa, MD Parenting and Youth Development Expert Home for the Holidays

Bright Spots Reunited! - The idea of our family - Less worry?! Vacation! More sleep, less obligation, travel, visits Holidays Happiness What else?

Trouble Spots For young adults: Lack of structure Conflicting desires Rules Obligations Expectations SURPRISES! For parents: Still have work Stress Appearances Expectations Younger siblings What else? SURPRISES!

Guidelines Young adults: 1.Name goals 2.Needs 3.Hopes Parents: 1.Name goals 2.Needs 3.Hopes Reconcile! Write it down!

Structure & Schedules 1. Parents: name goals – What can you live with? Curfew? wake up times Help around the house Apt. vs all-inclusive resort How much time do you need? 2. YA: name goals – Activities – Friends – Sleep – Free time 3. Needs & hopes – Awake hours – Supervision req’d – Shared goals – Pick one extra each Write it down!

Holiday Prep 1. Parents: name goals – Errands – Cooking/Cleaning – Traditions – Gifts 2. YA: name goals – Avoid errands – Help with what? – Traditions – Gifts 3. Needs & hopes – What has to get done? – YA v adult responsibilities – New ideas – consequences Write it down!

Holidays & Visiting 1. Parents: name goals – How many events? – Traditions 2. YA: name goals – Avoid boredom – Activities – Traditions 3. Needs & hopes – Which events – Makes some trades! Write It Down!!!

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