Working with High Conflict Personalities High Conflict Diversion Program™

Prevalence of Personality Disorders National Institute of Health and National Institute on Results From the Wave 2 National Epidemiologic Survey on Alcohol and Related Conditions study of 35,000 people completed in 2008 and published in the Journal of Clinical Psychiatry show that Personality Disorders in the general population in the United States is around 21.52% (over 1 in 5 have a diagnosable PD). These disorders that are most frequently found in high conflict legal disputes are as follows:

Narcissistic6.2%(20-29 age group %)Slightly more male Borderline5.9%(20-29 age group %)Equal male and female Paranoid4.4%(18-29 age group %) Slightly more female Antisocial3.6%(18-29 age group %)Significantly more male Histrionic1.8%( age group---3.8%)Equal male and female Results of Wave II Study

High Conflict Diversion Program™ World of Divorce Today: 20 – 30% of all divorces in the United States will become High-Conflict.* Total # of High-Conflict Divorces: (USA) * University of Utah study 2003 ** US Census

High Conflict Diversion Program™ World of Divorce Today: 20 – 30% of all divorces in the United States will become High-Conflict.* * University of Utah study 2003 ** US Census

Understanding Personality Disorders 9. Whisman, M. A., Tolejko, N., & Chatav, Y. Social consequences of personality disorders: Probability and timing of marriage and probability of marital disruption The associations between DSM-IV personality disorders and probability of marriage, early marriage, and marital disruption were evaluated among people that participated in the National Epidemiologic Survey on Alcohol and Related Conditions, which is a nationally representative face-to-face survey of 43,093 respondents, 18 years and older. Participants completed a structured interview for the diagnosis of seven personality disorders, and provided information about the occurrence and timing of marriage and marital disruption. Results suggest that personality disorders were associated with decreased probability of marriage, increased probability of early marriage, and increased probability of marital disruption. These findings suggest that personality disorders have substantial consequences for the probability and timing of marriage and probability of marital disruption.

High Conflict Diversion Program ™ Understanding High Conflict Individuals Role – Role fear plays – Future – Lack – Abandonment

High Conflict Diversion Program ™ Understanding High Conflict Personality Disorders – Stress Driven – Continuum – Wounds of early bonding and attachment – Brain development Incapable of different behavior

High Conflict Diversion Program ™ Understanding High Conflict Personality Disorders Recognizing PD’s – Narcissistic – Borderline – Paranoid – Antisocial – Histrionic – Bi-polar

High Conflict Diversion Program ™ Understanding High Conflict Attorney’s Role Role of negative advocate Defending or attacking in declarations Need for greater understanding Lack of ability for self reflection Lack of ability to self regulate More room for process Need for greater structure Need for consequences Need for more direction Need for alternative approaches to custody issues

Understanding High Conflict Attorney’s Role Need for continually creating structure between meetings Filing interim Stipulations in order to maintain structure between meetings Stipulations need consequences for breaking them.

High Conflict Diversion Program ™ Understanding High Conflict Therapists Role Need for greater understanding of the family court system Early Identification of PD character symptoms Need for alternative approaches to intervention in custody issues i.e.: Parental Alienation Syndrome

High Conflict Diversion Program ™ Understanding High Conflict Courts Role – Use of alternative parenting philosophies Parallel Parenting – Need for creation of strong parenting plans – Different use of Therapists Use as family therapist and parenting coordinator Training in different methods

High Conflict Diversion Program™ Understanding High Conflict Role of Financial Neutral Need for training to understand Pd’s core beliefs and how they pertain to financial aspects of the settlement negotiations. E.g.- Borderline underlying issues of abandonment, money might symbolize a continued attachment to the other person, security, custody my relate to money or may be an emotional crutch for the BPD parent.

High Conflict Diversion Program ™ Understanding High Conflict Courts Role – Use of alternative parenting philosophies Parallel Parenting – Need for creation of strong parenting plans – Different use of Therapists Use as family therapist and parenting coordinator Training in different methods

High Conflict Diversion Program ™ Understanding High Conflict Neurophysiology – Fight/Flight sequence – PTSD – Cognitive intervention and education Teaching techniques to intervene in sequence

High Conflict Diversion Program ™ Establishing Boundaries PD’s and Boundaries – Push-back (spike in conflict) Strategies – Elimination of Contact The role of the nervous system in continuing conflict Stress reduction Disengagement – No face-to –face communication – No verbal contact » Nervous System Cycle (72 hrs)

High Conflict Diversion Program ™ Establishing Boundaries Exchanges – Fewer Exchanges Age appropriate – Fewer parent initiated phone calls

High Conflict Diversion Program ™ Establishing Boundaries Need for iron-clad parenting plan – Exchanges – Holidays – Phone contact

High Conflict Diversion Program ™ Co-ParentingParallel Parenting  Child focused.  Adult focused.  Parents communicate regularly.  Parents communicate over emergencies.  Parents can communicate in person or over the phone.  Parents use , text messaging, or a third party (attorney, mediator or mutually agreed person).  Major decisions about the child are discussed jointly.  Major decisions are “communicated” rather than discussed.  Parents work together as needed to resolve issues related to the child.  Households are separate. Each makes decisions about the child when s/he is in their household.  Parents work together in the best interest of the child.  Parents work separately for the best interests of the child.  Allows smooth transitions from one home to the other.  Culture changes for the child may be abrupt. Use the “transition tradition” to lower the abruptness.  Allows for schedule change – can be flexible and negotiable.  Written parenting plan or court decree is followed exactly. Parents need an external authority.  Parents may be able to discuss issues between other parent and child.  Each parent is responsible for own relationship with child. “I am sorry, this is Mom’s/Dad’s House, we have different rules”.

High Conflict Diversion Program ™ Parallel Parenting Co-parenting only exacerbates the problem Platform for disengagement from the conflict Addressing Safety Concerns – Need for Mental Health Professional for children Stipulation for same without blaming

High Conflict Diversion Program ™ Parallel Parenting Mom’s House/Dad’s House Parent/Child empowerment and education – Development of a comprehensive parenting plan Major components – Precise holiday and exchange – Component for dealing with future conflict (Mediation)

High Conflict Diversion Program ™ Parallel Parenting Mom’s House/Dad’s House Need for Parent Education for both parents – Redirecting parents attention toward the children and away from the conflict. – Future oriented – Solution oriented