Abstinence: What’s In It For Me? Lesson 3-11

Bell Ringer  Get out Student Journal, Lesson 9 Journal Entry  How do you think the choices a person makes about sex can affect his or her sexual health?

Sexual Abstinence  Abstinence – choosing to do without something.  Sexual Abstinence – choosing to not engage in any sexual activity that can result in pregnancy or a sexually transmitted disease (STD).  People define it in different ways  Some may decide not to participate in any sexual behaviors at all.  Others may set limits – avoid sexual behaviors that pose a risk or negative consequence.  Doesn’t mean you can’t express love or affection for someone.  Lets explore what this means in more detail!!!  Draw a horizontal line on the board. Label the left-hand side “Abstinent” and the right-hand side “Sexually Active”  Write “No sexual behavior at all” at the very end of the left-hand side of the line. See TE pg. 134

Continuum: AbstinenceSexually Active  This is how people define sexual abstinence.  For them it means not participating in any behavior that might be considered sexual behavior.  Other people believe that abstinence doesn’t have to be an all or nothing thing.  This is the line between behaviors that could still be considered abstinent and the behaviors that put a person at risk for pregnancy and STD.

Ask & Discuss Abstinence (less sexual)(more sexual)  What behaviors could someone participate in and still be considered abstinent according to the definition we are working with?  Write them along the left-hand side of the horizontal line.  Less sexual closer to the left side and more sexual closer to the right side.

Continuum  If any behaviors could pose a risk of pregnancy or STD…  Oral sex, genital touching, mutual masturbation  … remember that while some people’s definition of abstinence can include activities other people might consider sexual, abstinence cannot include any behaviors that could put a person at risk for pregnancy or STD (including those STDs that could spread through skin-to-skin contact)  Set sexual limits that will help you stick to your particular choice.

Explain  Each person has to decide what abstinence will mean for him or her.  Your choice will be based on your own values and experiences.  No matter what, people who choose abstinence need to learn how to set sexual limits that will help them stick with their choice.  Example – sexting or sending sexual text messages or pictures…  You can’t get pregnant, cause a pregnancy, or get an STD, but it might lead to other sexual activities later, be against someone’s values, or be something a person who is choosing to be abstinent just doesn’t want to do.

What determines whether a person is abstinent or sexually active?  People are abstinent or sexually active based on the decisions they make and the limits they set around what kinds of sexual behaviors they’ll participate in.

Why Abstinence?  May not be ready for sex.  Avoid negative consequences of sexual activity.  Have other priorities that don’t include dating or being sexually active.  May not feel sexually attracted to anyone.  May have values or beliefs that guide their choices.

Your Choice  Participating in sexual behaviors should always be a matter of choice.  Sexual abstinence  Saying NO  No one has the right to pressure or force someone else to have sex.

Why Sexual Activity  They think it’s what other teens are doing  Someone pressured them into it  A way of fitting in  A way to rebel or assert independence  Under the influence of alcohol or other drugs

Activity - Benefits of Abstinence  Work with a partner to brainstorm and write a list of the benefits or positive things teens get from being abstinent.  1 minute to brainstorm  Be ready to share (I will call on people) Write a master list on the board

Benefits of Abstinence  Not having to worry about pregnancy.  Not having to worry about getting an STD, including HIV.  Feeling proud of your choice.  Having time and energy for school and other interests.  Not having regrets about having had sex if you break up with someone.  Not getting a reputation or being the object of sexual rumors.  Not having to worry about getting caught or disappointing parents.  Feeling good about following your own or your family’s values.  Being a role model for friends or younger siblings.

Activity- Barriers  Can you think of some things that might be difficult or challenging about being abstinent?  What are some of the things that could get in the way of being abstinent?  Work with your partner again to write a list of potential barriers  Come up with at least 3  Be ready to share Create a master list on the board

Barriers  Feeling left out.  Sexual pressure from a boyfriend or girlfriend.  Sexual pressure from friends.  Sticking with your sexual limits might be difficult.  Other people might not understand your choice.  Other people might make fun of or tease you about your choice.  Worry about losing a boyfriend or girlfriend.  Someone you like might not be interested in you if you won’t have sex.

Solve Barriers  Part of being abstinent is finding ways to overcome or deal with potential barriers to your choice.  Trade your list with another pair: suggest ways a person could deal with each of these potential barriers  1 suggestion for at least 3 of the barriers  Write possible solution next to the barrier See examples TE pg. 130

Explain  You have the best chance of staying abstinent if you are clear about what it means and can express feelings of sexual attraction in appropriate and safe ways.  A behavior would be safe and appropriate if it did not cross the line a person who has chosen to be abstinent ahs set for himself or herself and if it did not pose any risk of pregnancy or STD.

Activity  With a new partner:  Brainstorm at least 5 safe and appropriate ways for high school students to remain abstinent and express sexual attraction toward another person without engaging in sexual behaviors that carry a risk of pregnancy or STD  3-4 minutes

Ways to Remain Abstinent  Talking to a friend about your feelings.  Writing about your feelings in a journal.  Getting to know the person you are attracted to.  Going to the movies, for a walk, or out to dinner.  Holding hands, hugging, or kissing, if the other person also chooses to do this.

Summarize  Teens can express and share their feelings of sexual attraction in many ways besides having sex.  Remember that being abstinent means choosing not to participate in any sexual activity that can result in pregnancy or an STD.  Abstinence is the best and safest choice for high school students because it protects their health and their future.

Close  If you had a friend who wanted to be abstinent, what would you say to support him or her?