CHRISTMAS IS CANCELLED

LIST OF PEOPLE WHO WANT TO CANCEL XMAS NAMES David KennefickJoseph McNallyJonathon Curtis Terry SlatteryRonan MullenJeffery Roe Robert FeeneyChris HughesHalil Duman Henrik SzucsIan KirbyAntonio Senatore Martin MurphyIan WatsonGavin O’Brien Kieran BirraneJohn LynchCharlie Marriott David TsangAurimas BajorunasRamkamal Tripathi Kieran O’SullivanFergus WaltersJohn Mooney David KevilleAndrew CaulfieldDamian Gordon

Why we chose certain techniques Generally agreed that we would only go with techniques we remember.

PMI Positives Cheaper No religious conflict Shops won’t be busy No disappointment Less travelling No Christmas exams Save electricity, turkeys Less burglaries

PMI Minus No Bonus No Toy Show No Family meetings No holiday leave No selection boxes, 20 kilo tayto Low moral No parties Less money for charities Low Moral Crying kids Christmas jumpers

PMI Interesting New year bonus Revive all pagan religions Bigger holiday at new year New year selection boxes, crisps New years party New year sales, black December Corrs and Daniel O’Donnell release an album every January for the new years number one. More inclusive holiday

Blue Cancel xmas? Recession Good/bad

White Loss productivity Worth €4 billion Christian holiday Majority Population €15m forestry industry €600 per person spending a year

Red Split 50/50 Against 21/5

Yellow Positives Less sprouts Less stress Healthier diets Less alcohol More € Time fro study Less financial pressure Happy postman pat

Black Calendars wrong Long winters No 12 pubs No spending Priests don’t know what to do ISIS happy No family reunions No xmas bonus for welfare Might cancel all holidays

Green Focus on birthdays instead Invest the money we save and have a double Christmas, 24 pubs Christmas every 4 years With all the money we save, we should create a time machine to go back and see if jesus was actually real

OPV Children - Negatives No presents No time off school No incentives No magic/ innocence No toy show Children – Positives Expectations aren’t crushed No peer pressure

OPV Government No Tax revenue No bought votes Reduced public service costs Fewer car accidents Lower welfare costs

OPV Church Impact on Christian beliefs Reduce the reach Reduce attendance and donation money Church will remove the commercial aspect, and have Christmas anyway

OPV Parents Less stress Less debt Sleep in on xmas Less lying No magic No sanction on behaviour Children who are older will not have an excuse to come home from abroad

OPV Business Reduced €€ No xmas staff bonus Less retail staff More predictable business cycle Sick days probably go up

Random Words Word = Simple Easy Easier on parents, easier to be healthy without the year, easier on liver, easier on marriage Basic Sharon Stone, basic values of Christmas are more appreciated. Basic food, nothing special, basic normal wages. Basic jumpers!!! Vanilla Ice cream, ice ice baby, less shitty yankee candles as unwanted presents, custard sales will plummet, Penelope cruz, Flat Household expenditure, belly, sales, flat mood, visit somebody in a flat, less likely to get a flat tire. Flatter rates for hotels and travel.

Room Second room smells like urine First room is much better. Markers are terrible More productive in second room as it was smaller Best technique PMI Worst technique OPV

Conclusion Cancelling is too extreme, but the idea of changing it is not so bad Turning it into a year end 2 week holiday as opposed to 6 days not including years end. More focused on charitable work as opposed to consumerism Remove religion from the equation, and celebrate Penelope Cruz Legalise weed for December. Cull the Turkey so they don’t gain too much confidence as a race.