Consequences of early sexual behavior Strategies to promote abstinence: Set it, Say it, Show it! Obj: 9.ICR.2.2: I will explain the consequences of early and unprotected sexual behavior Obj: 9.1CR.2.1: I will critique skills and strategies that are used to promote abstinence from sexual activity in terms of their effectiveness Obj: 9.ICR.1.3 I will illustrate strategies for resolving interpersonal conflict without harming self or others Obj: I will respond assertively to uncomfortable situations that involve sex

Journal Write: Roles in a relationship Scholar: Describe the role of a woman in a dating relationship/marriage? Describe the role of a man in a dating relationship and/or marriage? Are there differences in roles based on race, religion or cultural factors? Collegiate: Compare and contrast the socially acceptable roles of married women today to married women in the 1950s? Genius: Compare and contrast the socially acceptable roles of married women today in the United States to women in other areas of the world?

Beyonce Flawless “We teach girls to shrink themselves, to make themselves smaller. We say to girls, 'You can have ambition, but not too much. You should aim to be successful, but not too successful. Otherwise you will threaten the man.' Because I am female, I am expected to aspire to marriage. I am expected to make my life choices always keeping in mind that marriage is the most important. Now marriage can be a source of joy and love and mutual support. But why do we teach girls to aspire to marriage and we don’t teach boys the same? We raise girls to see each other as competitors – not for jobs or for accomplishments, which I think can be a good thing, but for the attention of men. We teach girls that they cannot be sexual beings in the way that boys are. Feminist: the person who believes in the social, political and economic equality of the sexes.”

Read and Reflect Read the following story about George the goldfish: George lived in a goldfish bowl. George wanted to explore the world and did not want to be confined by the limits of his bowl. One day, he convinced his owner to let him out of the bowl so that he could be “free” and experience the “real world.” His owner used a fishnet to lift George out of his bowl and to new freedom on the kitchen table. What do you think happened to George the Goldfish?

What happened? George flopped around on the table and almost died. His owner put him back in his bowl just in time. George discovered that his goldfish bowl, rather than a limitation, provided the boundaries to let him be truly free. Boundaries and limits protect us from things that can threaten our health and well-being. Questions to consider: What limits or boundaries do you set for yourself related to dating, relationships, and sexual contact? How can you apply this story to your life from the perspective of George? How can you apply this story to your life from the perspective of the owner?

Goals of Lesson Understand the consequences of early sexual behavior Practice the skills and strategies used to promote abstinence

What are the consequences of early sexual behavior? Acquire a STD (1 in 4 teens who are sexually active have a STD) Unintended pregnancy Increase risk of cervical cancer Increase the possibility for stress in a relationship Additional emotional attachment which could lead to depression after a break-up Disappoint self and family: feeling of regret and guilt Early sex can interfere with the development of a healthy relationship

Video Clip: Too Young https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEr0yarax0g

Read and Reflect: Statistics and facts on teen pregnancy Less than 50% of teen moms finish high school and only 2% go on to get their college degree by age 30. Teen moms are less likely to have stable relationships. Pregnant teens are less likely to have consistent prenatal care Children of teen moms have lower cognitive test scores at age 2. Children of teen moms are at a greater risk of suffering from neglect and abuse. Daughters of teen moms are more likely to be teen mothers, too. Sons of teen moms are more likely to end up in prison. 8 of 10 fathers do not marry the teen mother of their child. Teen fathers are more likely to have low education levels, low paying jobs, and higher instances of alcohol and drug abuse.

Bad Reasons The following are some reasons why teenagers choose to have sex. Each reason can backfire and end up hurting the people involved, sometimes for many years. Which bad reason would you be likely to fall victim of? Decide one possible negative result of having sex for that particular reason.

Bad Reasons To rebel or get back at their parents… To keep a girlfriend or boyfriend… To fit in or be popular… To “prove” they are growing up or independent… To feel needed, worthy, or loved… Because they are under the influence of a drug or alcohol… Because their looks or popularity allow them to use others… To get the first time over with and lose the label “virgin”…

What is Sexual Abstinence? Voluntarily refraining from intimate sexual behavior which could lead to unintended pregnancy or disease Includes oral, anal, or vaginal sex

Video Clip Watch the video clip: Developing Refusal Skills (seg. 8) Questions: 1. What kind of pressure did these teens feel? 2. What helped them overcome the pressure? 3. Is it possible to tell someone NO and still communicate you care for him/her? How?

Skills and Strategies used to promote and practice abstinence

Jamar and Amber Jamar and Amber started dating their freshman year of high school. Amber was pretty sure she wanted to wait to have sex until she was married, but she didn’t feel comfortable talking about it with Jamar so she never told him how she felt. Jamar had also decided to wait, having seen an older cousin struggle through a teen pregnancy. They spent a lot of time hanging out at Jamar’s house after school. Each time they were together they would go a little further. They each assumed they could stop if things went too far. But one afternoon, in the heat of the moment, they ended up having sex. Amber was really upset and blamed Jamar. He worried about pregnancy and began to feel differently about Amber. They broke up several weeks later. 1. How could this (the breakup) have been prevented? 2. Is it difficult to talk about sex and boundaries with a boyfriend/girlfriend?

Why is it difficult to say “No” to unwanted sexual contact? Francee and Carlo Francee and Carlo have dated for several weeks. He wants to get closer and is putting pressure on her to be alone with him. She wants him to like her, so she keeps saying “maybe” or “I don’t think so” when he makes a move. He says, “I know you want it” and “just relax and let me make you feel good”. She knows she needs to say “No” but doesn’t want him to break up with her. Why is it difficult to say “No” to unwanted sexual contact?

Skill: Good Communication with partner Say It: Clearly communicate your needs Show it: Make sure your body language is assertive How can your eyes, shoulders, and voice show that you are assertive?

Healthy Styles of Resolving Conflict Compromising Satisfying some of the needs of each Cooperating Satisfying as many needs of each other as they can Collaborating A win-win way of dealing with conflicts; fully satisfying own concerns as well as concerns of others

Class Activity Lines and Comebacks

With your partner, complete “The Date” using good communication and assertive words Partner Work

Skill: Analyzing Influences Who is a positive influence on your sexual behaviors? Parents, family members Peers Dating partner Media Faith community Others: teachers, youth leaders Do you need to be more selective on who you take advice from and let influence your decisions?

Penelope and 16 and Pregnant Penelope loves gossip magazines and reality TV. There is a character on the program 16 and Pregnant who is fun-loving, loves attention, and does not get along with her boyfriend or mother. When Penelope daydreams about her life, she thinks she might want to go on the show. Are you influenced by the shows you watch on TV?

Skill: Good Decision Making Analyze the pros and cons. What’s the problem? What information do I need? I need? Choice A Choice B Choice C

With a partner, complete “What Do You Do?” Partner Assignment

Skill: Goal Setting What future goals would be Having goals for the future is a protective factor against risk-taking behaviors. What future goals would be disrupted or affected by an unintended pregnancy or incurable STD?

The End! Skills to promote abstinence: set boundaries with good communication, acquire positive influences in your life, make good decisions and set goals