Dr. Linda F. Kight, Facilitator

TODAY’S NORMS and EXPECTATIONS

How can I make my point and be tactful, diplomatic and professional in even the most difficult situations without compromising my position or diminishing my authority? Essential Question

Compass Points 4 L

Questions 1. What are the strengths of your style? (4 adjectives) 2. What are the limitations of your style? (4 adjectives) 3. What style do you find most difficult to work with and why? 4. What do people from the other “directions” or styles need to know about you so you can work together effectively? 5. What do you value about the other three styles? 5 L

Great leaders are individuals who are passionate about and confident in the work they do, and they inspire others to do so in the process.

1.Message into the ether ( ). 2.Back and forth messaging 3.A verbal Dialogue (telephone) 4.An In-Person Spontaneous Discussion 5.In-Person Scheduled Discussion Five Levels of Communication

Did you ever wish your mouth had an eraser?

WHY? s lump all points together rather than go point by point, counterpoint, point, etc. The potential for misunderstanding is high because people are unable to combine the non- verbal and verbal to create meaning. Little issues can escalate over . Level 1: - s The lowest level of Communication and the Highest Level of Misunderstanding

The next level of communication is conversational but is still conducted remotely. As points go back and forth, there is a casual exchange that is more direct. Misunderstandings are less likely because each message is quick – each person can detect if they are misunderstood by the reply. This form is not well suited for discussing complex matters. Level 2 Back and Forth Messaging

Participants get to voice their opinions and relay a whole new level of data through their inflection. Inflection reveals elements like frustration, annoyance, and stress. One drawback is that verbal discussions often require scheduling – who has time? Therefore, when someone is upset, it is best to pick up the phone and discuss it. Level 3 Verbal Dialogue

When something important comes up you may want to drop by a colleague’s classroom or office and start talking. These spontaneous discussions are often more effective than messages and phone conversations. The benefit is visually seeing each other. There are also detriments to this level of communication. What if you are not in the vicinity? What if others are in the vicinity and overhears your conversation? Level 4 In-Person Spontaneous Discussion

Both persons can think about the topic in advance. This kind of conversation is the most dynamic possible. Inflection and visual cues allow you to gather non-verbal intelligence to ensure clarity. Privacy ensure comfort. A scheduled discussion does not mean that it is formal – it can be over breakfast or lunch. What makes this mode of communication so sacred is the mutually agreed upon time that has been set aside for the conversation. Level 5 In-Person Scheduled Discussion

Which level is most appropriate for particular situations?

Example # 1: Everybody on the team 6C but Ms. Jackie agreed to participate in the talent show. Ms. Jackie now says she is not going to get out there and make a fool of herself. Both Mr. Herman and Ms. Benjamin are upset with Ms. Jackie. You have decided that you want to make things right with the team. 1.Who will you talk to? 2.What level of communication will you use? 3. Why did you decide not to use the other levels? Which level of Communication?

Example #2: You got your evaluation back from your principal. He gave you two “Needs Improvement”. Although you signed the evaluation yesterday, you have had time to think about it and you believe he was unjustified. 1.What level of communication will you use? 2.What will you say? 3.Why did you decide not to use the other levels? Which Level of Communication?

Effective communication relies largely on one's ability to be responsive.

The way in which we communicate can elicit positive or negative emotions. Ho we communicate can prevent others from hearing the message we are trying to convey. For example: Communicate aggressively Communicate without respect Communicate without sensitivity Be defensive Show angry emotions Communicating with diplomacy and tact : combines strength and sensitivity keeps negative emotions at bay

Great leaders are individuals who are passionate about and confident in the work they do, and they inspire others to do so in the process.

Rule #1: Rule #1: Determine your objective before diving into communication. Tactful communication requires you to understand your message before attempting to express it to others. Establishing your overall goals helps ensure your communication is concise and appropriate. Avoid veering into side conversations and adding non-essential information. Preparing also helps alleviate nervousness and leads to greater focus when stating your views.

Rule #2: Rule #2: Consider your relationship to the audience. This helps you create messages that won't be considered offensive or disrespectful. Keep your professional status in mind whether communicating with parents, co-workers, your principal, or paraprofessionals. Anticipate audience reaction to your message before making statements or sending written correspondence. It is best to delay the conversation until you get your emotions under control. Consider asking for a second opinion from a trusted colleague to check the overall tone before delivering messages. This helps ensure your message will not be mistaken as being arrogant or condescending.

Rule #3: Rule #3: Give others the benefit of the doubt. Maybe the person who made that outrageous generalization is not really insensitive. Maybe this person has had a painful experience that made him/her overreact.

Rule #4: Rule #4: After giving someone the benefit of the doubt, listen to learn and truly understand why the person holds this belief. We must let him/her know we have heard them and we are genuinely trying to see things from their perspective.

Rule #5 Rule #5: Always take responsibility for our own feelings, when disagreeing with someone. Make a commitment to respond using “I” statements only. When we begin with “you” we come off as blaming and confrontational and immediately put the other person on the defensive. This reduces the chance of our point of view being heard.

Rule #6: Rule #6: Use a cushion. Connect or “cushion” a different opinion, starting with “I hear what you’re saying” or “I appreciate your view on”. Again, begin with the word “I” and not “You said…” or it will sound confrontational.

Rule #7 Rule #7: Eliminate the words “but” or “however” from our vocabulary. Once we have cushioned the other person’s opinion, use “and,” or pause and say nothing, following the cushion. Acknowledging the individual’s point of view and following it with a “but” or “however” erases the acknowledgement.

Rule #8: Rule #8: Stay in control of your body language. Your audience will evaluate your message and intentions based on your posturing as well as your actual word choice. Even the most tactfully written statement can repel an audience if you deliver it with a scowl. This applies even when your audience can't see you as your attitude can be recognized through your tone of voice over the phone.

Rule #9: Rule #9: State our point of view or opinion with relevant and factual evidence. Keep our emotions out of the equation by using the following formula: Take time to reflect: What do I think? Why do I think it? What evidence do I have? Then speak: “One example is” “This shows that” “Therefore, I think”

Rule #10: Rule #10: Use appropriate terminology to demonstrate your professionalism and competence. Your speech shouldn't sound robotic or overly technical It should not be filled with slang, curse words or improper grammar. Keep your business relationship separate from personal dealings. This applies even when you're familiar with your audience.

To actively listen, focus on body language. Keep the body open by uncrossing the arms, and always make good eye contact with whomever is speaking. This shows the speaker that the listener is interested and engaged in the conversation. Avoid fidgety behaviors and poor posture, as these may be construed as signs that the listener is bored or mentally preoccupied with other thoughts. Listening is a significant feature of effective communication

Example #2: You got your evaluation back from your principal. He gave you two “Needs Improvement”. Although you signed the evaluation yesterday, you have had time to think about it and you believe he was unjustified. 1. What level of communication will you use? 2. Why did you decide not to use the other levels? Which Level of Communication?

We cannot change others, only ourselves. REMEMBER