Warm up Write about a conflict you have had recently. Tell me how you resolved this conflict. If the conflict has not been resolved, then write down how you plan to resolve it.

Conflict Resolution and Violence Prevention Lesson 11

Objectives Analyze the causes of conflict Analyze the relationship between the use of refusal skills and the avoidance of unsafe situations Demonstrate healthful strategies for resolving conflicts and evaluate the effectiveness of conflict resolution techniques in various situations

Terms: Conflict: any disagreement, struggle, or fight Interpersonal conflicts: disagreements of any size, from two people to entire nations Conflict resolution: process of solving a disagreement in a manner that satisfies everyone involved Negotiation: use of communication and compromise to settle a disagreement Mediation: process in which specially trained people help others resolve their conflicts peacefully

Understanding Conflict Disagreements are NORMAL in healthy relationships One benefit of conflict is that it can bring people together to work out problems Learning to recognize conflict and knowing how to deal with it is extremely important for your overall health and well-being

What Causes Conflict? Can begin in many ways and for many reasons Some are the results of accidents, while others are intentionally provoked Common Causes: Power struggles: when people are fighting for power over a situation Loyalty: faithfulness to a friend or commitment Jealousy/Envy: wanting what someone else has Property disputes: conflict over material possessions Territory and space: conflict over an area Conflicting attitudes and values: differences in beliefs or wants Lack of respect: prejudice, bias, bad mood Accidentally bumping into someone, intentionally calling someone a name Power struggle example: teenagers thing they should be able to decide their curfew but parents want to make that decision Loyalty example: taking someone’s side in an argument Jealousy example: jealous when a friend make a softball team and you don’t or your friend’s parents have more money then your parents so she has nicer clothes Property disputes: I used to get mad when my sister wore my clothes without asking when we were younger Territory example: siblings often fight when one goes into the others room without permission

Responding to Conflict Choice to face the conflict or ignore it Primary concern should be your health and safety Walking away from a dangerous situation is a wise choice and does not make you a coward

Conflict Resolution Process of solving a disagreement in a manner that satisfies everyone Strategies: Take time to calm down and think the situation over Use “I” messages when discussing the conflict Take turns explaining each side of the conflict Ask for clarification so that each person understands the other’s position Brainstorm solutions Agree on a solution that benefits both sides Follow up to see whether the correct solution was chosen

Respect How would you define respect personally??? Show respect for yourself and others Self-respect: recognize your right to your own opinions and values; ability to stand up for your beliefs Respect for others: listen to them with an open mind; consider other people’s thoughts and feelings; honor values held Showing tolerance of those who are different then you will help to minimize conflicts

Negotiation The use of communication and often compromise to settle a disagreement Involves talking, listening, considering the other person’s point of view, compromising if necessary and devising a plan for working jointly to resolve the conflict

Preparing for Negotiation: Make sure the issue is important to you Check your facts; make sure the disagreement is grounded in factual evidence Remember that the goal is to come up with a solution, not prove who is ‘in control’ or who is ‘right’ Rehearse what you will say, or script it out in advance so you don’t forget

During Negotiation: Select a time and place suited to working out problems Meet when you are calm and are not rushed for time. Choose a quiet place, free of distractions Work together towards a solution Do not treat the other person as an enemy Keep an open mind There are two sides to every story Listen carefully to what the other person has to say Be flexible Be willing to meet ‘halfway’ Take responsibility for your role in the conflict Apologize if you know you have hurt the other person Give the other person an “out” If the other person seems to be embarrassed or uncomfortable, suggest continuing the conversation at a later time

Mediation If two people can’t reach an agreement on their own through negotiation, it may be necessary for mediation to take place Mediation: a process in which specially trained people help others resolve their conflicts peacefully Takes place in a neutral location Mediator maintains confidentiality Process has well defined rules, which the mediator will inform the participants of

Violence Prevention

Protective Factors Behaviors that you can practice to stay safe Taking precautions against risky situations and developing safety habits Have students complete health inventory Textbook website, click health inventories on left, chapter 13, violence prevention and complete….ability to keep good relationships is a protective factor

Strategies for Staying Safe Avoid unsafe areas Don’t carry your wallet or purse in a conspicuous, easy to grab place Walk briskly and confidently. Always look as though you know where you are going and what you are doing Avoid walking alone at night, in wooded areas or dark alleys. Park your car in a well-lit area. Have your keys out and ready as you approach your parked car and look to make sure no one is in it before getting inside. Lock doors as soon as you get in. Let your family know where you are going and when you’ll be home Don’t get into an elevator with a stranger Get on and off buses in well lit areas If someone you know gives you a ride, ask them to wait until you get inside before driving away Do not hitchhike or pick up hitchhikers Avoid the use of drugs or alcohol.

Body Language The use of body language can help demonstrate that you are in charge of your safety Make direct eye contact Use a strong voice Hold your head high Walk with a deliberate stride

Self Defense Any strategy for protecting oneself from harm There are a range of classes available Physical and mental strategies are important Be assertive Stand up for your rights and beliefs in firm but positive ways Show that you are NOT an easy target Read article “ a master of conflict resolution”

Keeping Your Home Safe Lock doors with a bolt Put locks on windows and keep them locked at night Never open the door to someone you don’t know Don’t let strangers use your phone Do not tell unknown callers you are home alone Do not give out personal information over the telephone or computer

Safety in the Community Increased police patrol Neighborhood watch programs After-school programs Improved lighting in parks and playgrounds Strategies that many communities have taken to make neighborhoods safer

Keeping Schools Safe: Bullying Bullying: the act of seeking power or attention through the psychological, emotional or physical abuse of another person Come in all ages and both genders Victims of bullying may feel depressed, withdrawn, fearful or angry Sometime just walking away from a bully will help stop the behavior; however, most cases of bullying require adult intervention

Keeping Schools Safe: Sexual Harassment Sexual Harassment: uninvited and unwelcome sexual conduct directed at another person Words, jokes, gestures, and inappropriate touching are all forms of sexual harassment Harassment is unethical and causes embarrassment, discomfort and emotional pain for the victim Incidents of sexual harassment must be reported to school personnel at once

Keeping Schools Safe :Gangs Gangs: groups of people who associate with one another to take part in criminal activity Common activities include Vandalism Robbery Defacing public property Selling drugs Some gang activities put innocent people in harms way Exploring issues pg 339

Influences on Violence Weapons availability Media Alcohol and other drugs Mental/emotional issues Most homicides among 15-19 yr olds involve firearms. Do you think stricter gun laws would help this? Media: by age 13 most American children have seen 100,000 acts of violence on tv including about 8,000 murders, also common in movies, video games, song lyrics and music videos Desensitization occurs (emotional indifference) Alcohol and drugs effect judgment and decision making skills Mental/emotional issues: direct correlation between engaging in violent behavior and having a negative self concept

What can you do?? Recognize warning signs!!! Report threats Practice conflict resolution skills Use refusal skills to resist negative peer pressure Choose friends carefully Avoid spending time with those who show warning signs of violent behavior Tell an adult if you suspect your safety is in danger Join or develop a SAVE chapter (Students Against Violence Everywhere)