Improving Descriptive Writing When you are writing, you want to make it descriptive and paint an original picture.

Purpose of Descriptive Writing Describe something in an original and unique way so that it appeals to the five senses  Touch it  Taste it  Hear it  See it  Smell it

Keys of Being Descriptive Be original Be creative Stretch your imagination For example, instead of this: The hot, yellow sun went behind the mountain and covered the valley in red.  The sun cut itself on a sharp peak and bled into the valley.—John Steinbeck  Try this:

Clichés: The Descriptive Killer 1 : a trite phrase or expression; Also : the idea expressed by it 2 : something (as a menu item) that has become overly familiar or commonplace It is a saying, expression, idea, or element of an artistic work which has been overused to the point of losing its original meaning or effect, making it a stereotype.

Just say no to clichés

Clichés such as, “strong as an ox” should be avoided by the writer who wants to be effective. A cliché may say what the writer wants to say, but it does not say it in a striking, fresh way. It is better to say, “strong as a champion iron pumper” or “strong as a giant gorilla”. These expressions show fresher relationships and some creative thought.

Finding Clichés Through Experience If you have seen it Or heard it It’s probably a cliché

Here are some more examples Get all your ducks in a row. Paula is thin as a rail. Don’t judge a book by its cover. You can’t teach an old dog new tricks. Denise is as pretty as a picture. The sun made him as red as a beet. Better safe than sorry. That’ll happen when pigs fly.

Hollywood Clichés If a flying vehicle runs out of fuel and crashes, it still explodes as if the tank were full. People never get out of the house when there is obvious danger there (ghosts, murderers). People who hear something weird outside will go OUT to look, even if they know there's a homicidal maniac on the loose. Medieval peasants always have filthy faces, tangled hair, ragged clothing - and perfect, gleaming white teeth. (Braveheart, any Robin Hood movie, etc.).

Finding Clichés On-line Let’s find some more clichés Choose a keyword to look up Go to a cliché website and look up the keyword Cliché finder is one of the best places to look:

Fixing Clichés Identify the clichés Replace them with more descriptive writing ◦Think of a new comparison ◦Look up words in a thesaurus ◦

A Little Practice Let’s look at a poem Identify ALL the clichés Try to think of ways to say the same thing without using a cliché We’ll do the first stanza together

Which of the following do think are clichés? She’s as pure as the driven snow, Her face is as white as a sheet, Her hands are as smooth as silk, Her nails as red as a beet. She’s as pure as the driven snow, Her face is as white as a sheet, Her hands are as smooth as silk, Her nails as red as a beet.

She’s as pure as the driven snow, Her face is as white as a sheet, Her hands are as smooth as silk, Her nails as red as a beet. Her hair is like the golden sun, Her eyes blue like the sky, She’s as beautiful as an angel, and as hot as a firecracker on the 4 th of July. Her temper is as quick as lightning, Her hatred cold as ice, Her laughter is loud and clear, But her crying is as quiet as mice. Her beauty may be skin deep, But her mind is as sharp as a knife. I’m just small potatoes, And she seems larger than life They say she’s one in a million, But I don’t believe what they say. If she’s all that and a bag of chips, Why say it with a cliché? Same Old New Girl

On a separate sheet of paper, rewrite five of the following clichés so they send the same message to the reader but in an original way 1.She looked like death warmed over. 2.The carpenter was busy as a beaver. 3.The boy was smart as a whip. 4.He yelled like a stuck pig. 5.She had a mind like a steel trap. 6.He was as ugly as sin. 7.The class was quiet as mice. 8.He was as tough as nails. 9.She was light as a feather. 10.His mind was dull as dishwater.

Here are some examples: 7. The class was as quiet as a lion stalking its prey. 7. The class was as quiet as a master serial killer. 4. His scream was as sharp as a knife. 3. He had a mind like a jail cell at Alcatraz. 10. His mind was as dull as an old textbook. 4. He yelled like a microphone screeching. 10. His mind was as dull as a murky swamp. 6. His repugnant face was like a black hole, sucking all the beauty out of the room. 6. He was as ugly as a six week old carcass. 3. The boy was bright like a lamp in a dark room. 7. The class was as quiet as a corpse.