Using Description in Writing Purpose: To create a mood or a feeling To inform—e.g. comparison To persuade—e.g. advertising

Key Concept Dominant Impression: The single impression, quality, mood or atmosphere that stands out/conveys an attitude or generalization about the subject

Qualities of Good Descriptive Writing Subjective vs. Objective details Concrete details that rely on the five senses Omit details that don’t support the dominant impression

Qualities of Good Descriptive Writing 4. Use of figurative language (metaphor, simile, hyperbole, personification, etc.) 5. Strong verbs, vivid adjectives, descriptive adverbs, exact nouns 6. Involve reader enough to help him actually visualize the subject being described

Organizational Options Spatial—as they appear from left to right, front to back, etc. according to physical makeup (good for place) According to the senses Chronologically Then vs. Now—shows decay, change, improvement, etc.

Which sentence makes a better impression? Show vs. Tell Using words and imagery to SHOW that something has happened makes it much more believable to the reader. He was angry. or Sitting at his desk, his jaw tightened. His eyes flashed heat waves at me. The words erupted from his mouth, "I want to talk to you after class." The final hiss in his voice warned me about his feelings. Which sentence makes a better impression?

How do I Show? Helpful Tip: Focus on the scene. Try to create a full sensory picture using as many of the 5 senses as are appropriate. Help the reader to actually see the scene, hear the sounds, smell the smells. However, be careful not to overload the reader with too much detail.

How do I Show? Example: Trying to describe a sunset. Things you can focus on: Unique blend of color Effect of the clouds Smell of the air Birds, noises, other people present, etc. Can you think of any more?

When don’t I show? Though showing and not telling is a very good tool for descriptive writing, it’d be difficult for a reader to go through a paper filled with show and not tell. Things to keep in mind: Is there something new I want my reader to experience? Is this something important I want my reader to SEE? Is it trivial enough to only give a few details?

Decide on what is important and SHOW that. Reminder -- You can both SHOW and TELL. If it’s really important, you can use both showing and telling to emphasize its importance to your reader. Don’t make every paragraph a plethora of details, but also make sure not to make every paragraph full of facts. Decide on what is important and SHOW that.

Example TELLING: The girls were excited. SHOWING: Giggles and screams filled the arena. The soft curls were now damp with perspiration and the anticipation of the event. They held tight to each other in a mock effort to contain themselves. Arms flailed upward, and voices echoed in varying tones. The moment was here. How is the showing example more helpful?

Example Telling: The morning was beautiful. Showing: Behind the mountains, the sun peaked brightly, ready to start a new day. The blue sky remained silent yet showed signs of sadness. The wind whispered through the trees as the cheerful sun rose. The birds sang gently by my window as if they wanted to wake me up. How is the showing example more powerful?

Telling: The coffee was enjoyable. Example Telling: The coffee was enjoyable. Showing: She cradled the mug in both hands and leaned her head over it in the rising steam. Pursing her lips, she blew softly over the clouded surface and let her eyelids drop. Her shoulders rose slightly as she breathed in, and she hummed with her head low. I lifted the tiny porcelain pitcher and poured a brief rotating arch of white into the black depths of my own cup. She opened her eyes, and we looked at each other across the table without speaking.

Transform the following from The sandwich was delicious. Now You Try! Transform the following from telling to showing: He looked really tired. She was very old. I was so nervous. The sandwich was delicious.