Social Psychology Interpersonal Attraction & Relationships

Affiliation: Early Attachment Attachment – relationship with caregiver  Two way process  Security & information for infant 1. Secure  parent available & responsive 2. Avoidant  parent unresponsive & rejecting 3. Anxious-Ambivalent  Parent is anxious & inconsistent

Lab Affiliation for Fear Reduction Fear reduction (Schachter, 1959)  Women invited to lab  Told they would receive shocks  High Fear vs. Low Fear

Why Affiliate When Afraid? Distraction hypothesis  Affiliate to take mind off problems  Anyone will do Social comparison theory  Want to compare feelings with others  Others in similar situation are best Social comparison appears to be more important  Women wanted to wait with others anticipating shock  Patients prefer someone who has had surgery than those anticipating it

What do Relationships do for us? Attachment – security & comfort Social integration – shared interests & attitudes Reassurance of worth – support as competent and valued Sense of reliable alliance - help Guidance – advice and information Opportunity for nurturance – responsible for other, feel needed

Principles of Attraction Association  Background music Reinforcement  Flattery vs. critical Social exchange  Cost benefit analysis

Who do we like? Anderson (1968) – 555 adjectives  Sincere vs. phony Warmth Competence Physical Attractiveness

Similarity “Birds of a feather flock together” Newcomb – college students Phantom-other technique Type of similarity matters Matching principle

Why do we like similarity? Rewarding  Everybody agrees  Share interests Cognitive dissonance  Seek balanced attitudes  Seek those who give balance Seek abstract ideals  Deal with reality

Where does it come from? Selective attraction  Screening Social influence  Persuade each other Environmental factors  Pick similar situations

When we don’t like similarity Similarity as threat  Phantom-other technique  Emotionally disturbed or normal Differences rewarding  No clones  Requires safety  Allows experts

Why is proximity important? Familiarity Similarity Availability Cognitive Consistency

Love & Liking Is love intense liking? Which reflect love and which reflect liking  Idealization  Trust  Sharing emotions  Believing someone is intelligent  Tolerating other’s faults

Thoughts of Love Attachment  Dependence on other Caring  Promote other’s welfare  Responsive to other’s needs Trust  Self disclosure

The Power of Thought Secret relationships Defying expectations

Behaviors of Love Saying “I love you” and verbal affection Physical expressions of love (hugging) Verbal self-disclosure Communicating nonverbally Material signs of love (presents) Nonmaterial love (interest, respect) Willingness to tolerate other and sacrifice for relationship

Feelings of Love How do people feel when in love?  Sense of well being (79%)  Trouble concentrating (37%)  Floating on a cloud (29%)  Wanting to run, jump, scream (22%)  Feeling nervous before dates (22%)  Feeling giddy and carefree (20%)

Loneliness Loneliness: subjective discomfort Aloneness: objective state ¼ people lonely in last two weeks Situational vs. Chronic Emotional vs. Social

Who becomes lonely? Childhood experiences Marriage Wealth Age Personality  Introverted/ shy  More self conscious  Less assertive