Grief.

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Presentation transcript:

Grief

Roberta Temes Stages of Grief: Numbness Mechanical functioning and social insulation Disorganization Intensely painful feelings of loss Reorganization Re-entry into a more ‘normal’ social life

George Bonanno Suggests avoiding feelings has a protective function Expressing negative emotions can prolong grief Research on 9/11: Those who did not express their reactions immediately showed fewer signs of distress 2 years later Those who were asked to express their reactions immediately had a harder time adjusting 2 years later Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology (2008)

Grieving BUT: Asking people about an event immediately does not give the person a chance to process the information in their own time. It implies that they should be upset.

Grieving Grief is never over. Worst grief within 6 months As time passes, we focus more on good memories than sadness If there are unresolved issues that cause emotional pain, it may help to talk to someone Counseling only shows a benefit when participants displayed difficulty adapting to loss

Elizabeth Kubler-Ross Studied 500+ participants with terminal illness or who experienced catastrophic loss Identified 5 stages of grief As with all stage theories- are they really concrete? Do we go through ALL and in the same order? Role of age: How do we feel if the person is 103? How do we feel if the person is 10?

UP House flying scene: whole clip (3:00) Stage 1: denial Usually only a temporary defense for the individual Feeling is often replaced with heightened awareness of who will be left behind after death “I’m fine.” “This can’t be happening to me.” UP House flying scene: whole clip (3:00)

Romeo and Juliet: whole clip (2:30) Stage 2: Anger Individual recognizes that denial cannot continue Misplaced feelings of rage, resentment or blame “Why me?!” “It’s not fair!” “How can this happen to me?” Romeo and Juliet: whole clip (2:30)

Beauty and the Beast: 0-2:30 OR 4:30 Stage 3: Bargaining Hope that death can be postponed. Often negotiation with a higher power in exchange for reformed behavior “ Just let me live to see my grandchildren graduate” “I’ll do anything for a few more years.” Beauty and the Beast: 0-2:30 OR 4:30

Stage 4: Depression Begin to understand the certainty/finality of death May become silent, refuse visitors, spend time crying Not recommended to try to cheer a person up in this stage- an important part of processing. “Why bother with anything?” “What’s the point?” Lion King: 1:30-4:00

Forest Gump: whole clip (1:50) Up mementos: whole clip (3:18) Stage 5: acceptance Individual begins to come to terms with mortality “It’s going to be okay” Forest Gump: whole clip (1:50) Up mementos: whole clip (3:18)

Terminator 2 Watch John Connor, Sarah Connor, and the Terminator in this scene. Identify one example of each stage of grief according to Kubler-Ross: Denial Anger Bargaining Depression Acceptance