“SHOWING” VS. “TELLING” a.k.a “How to Make Your Writing More Interesting”

TELLING  Telling – general; doesn’t show the reader pictures and images; uses passive voice, simple sentences, and forces readers to create their own “mental picture”…boring! 

TELLING Example: He gets ready for the race by tying his shoes. Feeling pretty nervous, he examines his shoes. His ankle hurts. He hears the announcer tell the athletes to get ready. After he gets in position, he hears the gun start the race. All his limbs are moving fast and his feet pound on the concrete.

SHOWING  Showing – very specific; full of details and examples, elaborated as though the reader were viewing a picture; uses active voice, sentence variety, figurative language, and vivid verbs…exciting!

“SHOW” EXAMPLE  Example: “The muscles in his left leg tense up as he shifts the weight of his body to one side while kneeling down to tie his right shoe. Cross the first with the second, pull. Loop across, bring around, pull, braiding together the frayed gray laces of his Adidas spikes as skillfully as a seamstress weaves with thread. With the pride of even the fleet –footed Achilles, the athlete inspects his sacred wings of land attentively as he quickly brushes off few blades of grass and dirt collected on the instep of his sneaker. His ankle soon begins to throb with a lack of circulation to his foot; in fact, the knot of his shoe is so tightly laced that he can hardly feel his toes suffocating inside his shoe like sardines packed in a can.”

LET’S PRACTICE!  The haunted house was spooky.

NOW… YOUR TURN!  Each partnership receives a “tell” statement  5 minutes to turn it into a “show” statement Focus on ONE SINGULAR MOMENT AVOID “AM”, “IS”, “ARE”, “WAS”, “WERE” USE CONCRETE DETAILS DEMONSTRATE SENTENCE VARIETY