Social Skills 7th grade Advisor-Advisee Lesson 3- Accepting Compliments from the book: How Rude by Alex J. Packer, Ph.D 7th grade Advisor-Advisee Lesson 3- Accepting Compliments from the book: How Rude by Alex J. Packer, Ph.D

Accepting Compliments A compliment is a gift. It may be a verbal gift, but it is still a gift.

Most people... “Deflate” compliments Example: “I love your new shirt” “Oh, it is a little something I picked up” Example: “You played your instrument so well” “It was ok, I didn’t practice that much”

Why do people “deflate” the compliment?? low self esteem nervous, not sure how to handle a compliment

Implications When you “deflate” a compliment, it implies the person who gave it has no idea what they are talking about. That is rude to do to someone who was just very nice to you.

What should I say? Thank you Thank you so much Thanks You are very kind to say that

Giving compliments Sometimes giving compliments can be as hard as getting one. It can be really hard, especially if you are disappointed.

Things to look for... Don’t compliment one person by putting another down. Wrong: It is great to have someone on the team that doesn’t drop the ball like Jeff. Right: It is great having you on the team.

Don’t use envy or bitterness Wrong: Congratulations on winning the scholarship. At least you’ll be able to go to college. Right: Congratulations! You worked really hard!

Don’t pollute your praise with criticism Wrong: You were great today. It is about time you scored a goal. Right: Great goal- You were terrific out there.

Don’t undercut your compliment with nosiness. Wrong: Those are cute shoes! How could you afford them? Right: Cute Shoes!

Now you try it! Find 3 people and give and receive a compliment!!