Marriages and Families: Changes, Choices and Constraints Seventh Edition Nijole V. Benokraitis Chapter Eleven

The Choice to be a Parent In a national study of first year college students, 77 percent said that having children is an “essential” or “very important” objective in their lives. People today can chose to be parents or not to be parents. They can chose when to have children and how many children they want to have and at what point in their lives.

Becoming a Parent About 72% of American Adults have children, but almost half of US pregnancies are unintended. A couple’s first pregnancy is an important milestone in life. Different Parents worry about different things –Planners –Acceptance of fate –Ambivalent couples –Yes-no couples

Benefits and Costs of Having Children Benefits-Parents often report being “happier than ever” after children are born. –They bring a sense of joy, happiness and completeness to families.

Benefits and Costs of Having Children Costs –Parenthood isn’t always paradise, it is the most difficult job one can ever have. It is expensive “the Mommy Tax” Emotional Costs Fathers and mothers spend time caring for the children often neglecting their own relationships

Pregnancy When pregnancy is planned and welcomed it can be exhilarating. It can draw a couple together. There are several discomforts for moms at all stages of pregnancy –Nausea and tiredness in the first trimester –Mother begins feeling movements in the second trimester which can be fun –The third trimester is difficult because of physical discomfort such as back ache and fatigue

Some effects of Parenthood For 70-90% of couples, marital bliss dips during the first year of being parents. –The negative effects of parenthood tend to be higher divorce rates. –Some parents think having a baby will bring them closer, but often drives them apart.

Mothers and their Newborns Newborns experience contact and bonding with many people, not just the new mother. Siblings, the father, the grandparents etc. Caring for newborns often falls on the new mother’s shoulders for the most part and she can feel overwhelmed.

Fathers and their newborns Fathers are important for emotional development of the baby. Our society tends to place an importance of the bonding of the mother over the bonding and feelings of the father. Fatherhood often enhances maturity— being a father can change the way men think about themselves.

How many?? A majority of Americans say that two children is the ideal number and few people want more than three. This is a dramatic difference from 1945 when 77% of families said three was the ideal number.

Why have US fertility rates changed? Except for the 1950s when there was an increase in the versatility rate, the rate has gone down since. There are several factors that can cause this –Macro level Factors-Improvements in contraception for moms and an increase in opportunities for women in higher education.

Micro Level Factors These involve individual choices –Whether to have intercourse –Timing of first intercourse –Percent of women who had intercourse –Time spent in marriage –Frequency of intercourse

Infant Mortality The US has the highest rate of Infant Mortality for any high income country in the world. The mortality rate is the number of babies who die in the first year compared to the number of babies born. The leading cause of infant mortality are physical defects, preterm birth and low birth rate. One of the leading factors of these happenings is that the United States, while one of the wealthiest countries in the world, still does not have health care that is free for everyone.

Postponing Parenthood The number of first time older mothers is rising. In the early 1970, only 4 percent of American women having the first babies were 30 or older, since then this number has increased substantially. Women are not choosing to not have children, they are just postponing them until later in life.

Why is this happening? There are both macro and micro level factors that are making women wait to have children. Micro level factors include: –Jobs and careers. –Many women are putting off marriage and don’t want to adopt as single parents –Many couples don’t want nannies or child care providers raising their children so they wait until they are more financially stable. –Women enjoy their jobs and don’t want to give them up for mother hood.

Why is this happening? Macro Level Factors –When there is high recession, many young people don’t have the financial resources to start a family. –Many young couples still live with their parents. –Some young couples are disturbed by the high divorce rate. –Advanced reproductive technology has put less stress on the “biological clocks”. –Our country does not support young families in the same ways that some other high income nations do.

Some Characteristics of Older Parents Advantages –Women who give birth between 22 and 34 have healthier babies. –Older mothers are more likely to be married and have a higher education. –Older mothers tend to feel more secure. –Older dads also have some advantages in that they can retire when their children are younger and get to spend more time with them.

Disadvantages Older parents may increase the health risks to their babies. There are greater risks of Downs Syndrome Others find they have waited to long and can’t have as many children as they wanted. Older parents often feel split between the time their often demanding jobs take and the time they need to spend with their children.

Infertility Infertility is the inability to conceive a baby. It often goes undiagnosed until the couple have been together for a while and are trying to have a child. –Infertility is due about equally to problems in males and females; each sex contributes about 40% to the problem. The other 20% of the problem is due to what doctors cannot determine.

Female Infertility The two major causes are: –Failure of ovulate –Blockage of fallopian tubes

Male Infertility Often results from sluggish or slow sperm count. Chemical pollutants may play a specific role because they may work in an area that is more toxic to their bodies. –The use of drugs can impede sperm count.

Reactions of Infertility Couples tend to be devastated. –Two cultural reasons seem to be at play: Married couples want to reproduce. Married couple get married so they can reproduce.

Adoption: The Tradition for In the past, women were concerned that if the anyone knew she gave up her baby that they would judge her harshly.

Open and Closed Adoptions Open adoption is the practice of sharing information and maintaining contact between the birth and adoptive child throughout the child’s life. Closed adoptions used to be used much more commonly, where there was no contact between any of the parties.

Adoption by Same Sex Partners Another controversial issue in the past, it has become much more common for gay and lesbian couples to adopt children.

International Adoption Adopting children from other counties has become easier and more accepted. In the past decade approximately 216,000 children have been adopted from 20 different countries.

Some Rewards and Costs of Adoption The most obvious reward is that an unwanted child finds a home where he or she is loved and wanted. –Compared with children raised in foster homes, or by never married mothers, adopted children are economically advantaged, more likely to complete high school and hold a skilled job, and less likely to use drugs and commit crimes.

Some Costs of Adoption Adoptive parents sometimes worry that the birth mother may not have had adequate prenatal care and the baby many have birth defects. About 3-8% of adoptions are resolved because the adoptive parents can’t cope with the adopted child’s difficult behavior problems.

Medical and High Tech Solutions to Infertility Artificial Insemination- a medical procedure in which semen is introduced artificially into the vagina or uterus at about the time of ovulation. In Vitro Fertilization involves surgically removing eggs from a woman’s ovaries, fertilizing them in a petri dish with sperm from the husband or other donor and then reintroducing them back into the uterus. Surrogacy-a woman who is capable of carrying a pregnancy to term serves as a substitute for a woman who cannot bear children.

Genetic Engineering-benefits and costs Some worry that genetic engineering because it mettles with nature is unnatural it is unethical. Benefits-it has been valuable in detecting prenatal genetic abnormalities. Costs-Increase the risk of birth defects especially in the case of twins or multiple births.

Abortion Has and continues to be controversial. The number of abortions is on the decrease. Who typically has abortions? Young women in their 20s, white and African American, never married.

Contraceptives The use of contraceptives has increased over the past 20 years, especially with the invention of the pill an now the morning after pill.