4 Steps in Essay Writing Step 1: Begin with a Point (Thesis) Step 2: Support Thesis with Specific Evidence Step 3: Organize & Connect the Specific Evidence Step 4: Revising Sentences

College Writing Skills with Readings The Fourth Step in Essay Writing Chapter Five The Fourth Step in Essay Writing

Step 4 Revise and Edit Your Work parallelism.Use parallelism. consistent point of view.Use a consistent point of view. specific words.Use specific words. active verbs.Use active verbs. concise words.Use concise words. Vary Vary your sentences. revising sentences: Strategies for revising sentences: :

Use Parallelism balancing By balancing the items in a sentence, you will make the sentence clearer and easier to read. Ex.: My job includes checking inventory, initialing orders, and to call the suppliers. calling

Use a Consistent Point of View: Verbs Use a Consistent Point of View: Verbs verb tenses Do not shift verb tenses unnecessarily. dumped Ex.: Jean punched down the risen dough. Then she dumps it onto the worktable.

Use a Consistent Point of View: Pronouns point of view Do not shift point of view unnecessarily. Ex.: One of the fringe benefits of my job is that you can use a company credit card for gasoline. I

Use Specific Words specific general To be an effective writer, you must use specific words rather than general words. General: The dog ran down the street. Specific: The mangy stray loped down Broadway, dodging cars and startled pedestrians.

Specific Sentences 1: Use exact names. 1: Use exact names. (Not “the boy,” but “Vince.”) 2: Use lively verbs. 2: Use lively verbs. (Not “ate,” but “slurped.”) 3: Use descriptive words. 3: Use descriptive words. (Not “the car,” but “the rickety old Buick.”) 4: Use sense descriptions. 4: Use sense descriptions. (“Vince slurped his ice-cold chocolate milkshake while sitting on the squeaking front seat of his rickety old Buick.”)

Use Active Verbs active voice. Prefer the active voice. passive voice. When the subject receives the action, the verb is in the passive voice. The computer was bought by George. active voice. When the subject of a sentence performs the action of the verb, the verb is in the active voice. George bought the computer.

Use Concise Words concision. Prefer concision. Wordiness Wordiness -- using more words than necessary -- is often a sign of lazy or careless writing. In this paper, I am planning to describe the hobby that I enjoy of collecting old comic books. Revision: I enjoy collecting old comic books.

Vary Your Sentences Effective writing is writing that is varied and interesting. Vary your sentences by: 1: Adding a second complete thought. 2: Adding a dependent thought. 3: Beginning with an opening word phrase. 3: Beginning with an opening word or phrase. 4: Placing adjectives or verbs in a series.

Adding a Second Complete Thought Transform simple sentences (which can be monotonous) -- Greg worked on the engine. The car still wouldn’t start. into compound sentences: Greg worked on the engine, but the car still wouldn’t start.

Adding a Dependent Thought Transform simple sentences (which can be monotonous) -- The library was very quiet. I couldn’t concentrate. into complex sentences: Although the library was very quiet, I couldn’t concentrate.

Beginning with an Opening Word or Phrase...transforms simple sentences (which can be monotonous) -- Paul was concerned about his daughter’s fever. Paul called a doctor. into varied sentences: Concerned about his daughter’s fever, Paul called a doctor.

Placing Adjectives or Verbs in a Series...transforms simple sentences (which can be monotonous) -- The truck bounced off a guardrail. It sideswiped a tree. It plunged into the ditch. into varied sentences: The truck bounced off a guardrail, sideswiped a tree, and plunged into the ditch.

Editing Sentences After revising, check for mistakes in grammar, punctuation, mechanics, usage, and spelling. Edit according to the conventions of written English, aka sentence skills. Edit according to the conventions of written English, aka sentence skills.

Proofreading Check the edited draft of your paper for typos and other other careless errors.

Activity 1, p 112 Activity 3, p 115 Activity 6, p Activity 12, p

A unique object in my family’s living room is an ashtray, which I made in second grade. I can still remember the pride I felt when I presented it to my mother. Now, I’m amazed that my parents didn’t hide it away at the back of a shelf; it is a remarkably ugly object. The ashtray is made out of brown clay I had tried to mold into a perfect circle. Unfortunately, my class was only forty-five minutes long. The best I could do was to shape it into a lopsided oval. Its most distinctive feature, though, is the grooves carved into its rim. I had theorized that each groove could hold a cigarette or cigar, so I made at least fifty of them. I somehow failed to consider that the only person who smoked in my family was my father who smoked about five cigars a year. Further, although our living room is decorated in sedate tans and blues, my ashtray is bright purple, my favorite color at the time. For variety, it has stripes around its rim; they are colored neon green. My parents have proudly displayed my little masterpiece on their coffee table for the past ten years. If I ever wonder if my parents love me, I look at that ugly ashtray; the answer is plain to see.