POSITIVE DISCIPLINE WHAT IS DISCIPLINE?

VALUE LINE ACTIVITY: *__________________________________* Spanking is effectiveI don’t believe in spanking Mark where you stand on this line on a piece of paper and list reasons for you stance on this issue. Students will make a line in the hall according to where they stand on this issue. Teacher will wrap the line so those who are at opposites on the issue are paired up. Discuss with paired partner. See if anyone has a change of heart.

WHAT ABOUT SPANKING? It is a physical assault on a child. It teaches children to deal with life in a physical way. Can lead to child abuse. It teaches outer control, and only stops the behavior for a short time. Creates feelings of hatred and revenge.

DISCIPLINE “OK, here are your options: jump and discover the joy of flight, or don’t jump and I kick your butt out of the tree. What kind of parenting is this?

TYPES OF PARENTING: AUTHORITARIAN: –External Control –Punishment –Order without freedom Creates rebellion or submission/dependence

3 R’s of punishment: 1.RESENTMENT 2.REVENGE 3.RETREAT 1.Low self esteem 2.Sneaky

Where did we ever get the crazy idea that in order to make a child do better, first we have to make them feel worse.

Children do better when they feel better!

TYPES OF PARENTING: PERMISSIVE: –Freedom without order –No restriction, rules, –No consequences Creates a manipulative personality, aggression, and independence.

TYPES OF PARENTING: AUTHORITATIVE (Democratic): –Mutual Respect –Cooperation –Freedom with Order Creates a self disciplined child who is responsible for own actions.

WHY DO CHILDREN MISBEHAVE? A misbehaving child is a discouraged child. Why?

MISBEHAVIOR: Is based on a child’s mistaken interpretation of how to find BELONGING & SIGNIFICANCE!

4 GOALS OF MISTAKEN BEHAVIOR: 1. Attention 2. Power 3. Revenge 4. Give-up

Most common reason for misbehavior:

Solution to All Misbehavior: Spend special time With the child each Day! How much?

Solution to Attention Problems: Ignore if possible Give attention when good Redirect Logical consequences Choices

Solution to Power Problems: Withdraw Cool off, Problem solve together Win cooperation Act

4 Steps for Winning Cooperation: 1.Get into child’s world Check it out 2.Show understanding 3.Share your feelings 4.Find a solution together

Solution to Revenge Problems: Withdraw from revenge cycle Win child over Solve the problem Take away items they could destroy Apologize if needed

Solution to Inadequacy Problems: Avoid pity Encourage & train Create small successes Don’t give up

Believe that children are basically GOOD! What do you see below? FLY

Make sure the message of LOVE always gets through:

TIMING: It is impossible to solve problems at the time of CONFLICT!

LISTEN FIRST: Children will listen to you after they feel listed to.

NATURAL & LOGICAL CONSEQUENCES: NATURAL: Simply happen naturally –No coat = cold LOGICAL: Are decided upon and imposed by parents or teachers

LOGICAL CONSEQUENCES: One needs to be: –Firm –Calm –Positive toward child

3 R’S OF LOGICAL CONSEQUENCES: 1.RELATED 2.RESPECTFUL 3.RESONABLE

TIME OUT: An alternative to spanking. 1.Gives child time to calm down & time to think about the correct way to act. 2.Child is moved away from others – an effective consequence. Only use if child is out of control, hurting others or destroying things.

TIME OUT GUIDELINES: Choose a location that is dull and away from others. Use time out immediately after misbehavior occurs. Length of time = 1 minute for each year of age. Don’t’ talk to child until afterwards (Make sure they understand the “WHY”). Reward good behavior after time out, as soon as they do something positive.

DISCIPLINE STEPS: 1.Redirect 2.Check it out 3.Speak to the child about the problem 4.Give choices 5.Use logical or natural consequences 6.Use time out if still out of control

CLASSROOM DISCIPLINE: Have rules and remind them often Read: “Children want fences

KEEP RULES SHORT & SIMPLE 1.Be nice to teacher and classmates 2.Raise hand to speak 3. Walk in halls

CLASSROOM DISCIPLINE cont’d Be silent or whisper Resist giving attention to the disruptor –“Someone is disturbing the class” Move closer, place hand on shoulder Involve them Talk privately –“What can I do to get your help?”

FORBIDDEN DISCIPLINE ACTIONS: SPANKING SLAPPING HITTING SHAKING PULLING PINCHING NO TEASING NO HUMILIATION NO INSULTS NO THREATENING NO FRIGHTENING NO LAUGHING AT Confirmed incidents will be grounds for immediate dismissal from a childcare job.

ALWAYS REMEMBER : MISTAKES R WUNDERFULL OPPERTUNITEEZ 2 LERN! –Recognize your mistake –Reconcile “I’m sorry” –Resolve: Focus on solutions rather than blame.

YOU TEACH WHAT YOU ARE: WHAT ARE YOU?