Crucial Conversations Review

The only way to effectively communicate is to convey respect. The only way to effectively communicate is to convey respect. As Maslow illustrates, As Maslow illustrates, everyone needs respect. everyone needs respect. Therefore, they will respond if Therefore, they will respond if they receive it. they receive it.

People attempt to gain respect in many ways. People attempt to gain respect in many ways. Ultimately, we gain respect from how we interact with others. Ultimately, we gain respect from how we interact with others.

Creating Safety Creating Safety When communication breaks down, people either choose silence or violence. When communication breaks down, people either choose silence or violence. When people act out in negative ways (e.g., silence or violence), they are really expressing an Emotional Need. When people act out in negative ways (e.g., silence or violence), they are really expressing an Emotional Need.

Emotional Need Opposite Emotional Need Opposite Love scorn; disdain Love scorn; disdain Respect disrespect Respect disrespect Trust distrust Trust distrust Acknowledgement ignoring Acknowledgement ignoring Concern don’t care Concern don’t care

When this happens, ask When this happens, ask “What is their Emotional Need?” “What is their Emotional Need?” If you address this need, you make progress. If you address this need, you make progress.

People act out because they have an emotional need—but often resort to negative behavior to “satisfy” it. People act out because they have an emotional need—but often resort to negative behavior to “satisfy” it. This knowledge helps you to avoid demonizing This knowledge helps you to avoid demonizing others and see them as human. others and see them as human. It also levels the playing field for communication by showing we are all the same. It also levels the playing field for communication by showing we are all the same.

To create safety, address the Emotional Need first, then you can talk about the original topic. To create safety, address the Emotional Need first, then you can talk about the original topic. Mantra Mantra 1. Step out of content. 2. Create safety 3. Step back in. Sometimes, it takes awhile for the safety to sink in. Sometimes, it takes awhile for the safety to sink in. Eventually, it will lead to dialogue. Eventually, it will lead to dialogue.

There is no guarantee that you can get someone to dialogue. But at the very least, you can attempt communication in a respectful, mature way. There is no guarantee that you can get someone to dialogue. But at the very least, you can attempt communication in a respectful, mature way. If the other person does not respond, you now have the information you need to make the decision that is best for you. If the other person does not respond, you now have the information you need to make the decision that is best for you.

Journal Topic Which area of your communication needs the most improvement? Why? Which area of your communication needs the most improvement? Why?or Which part of Crucial Conversations do you find most helpful? Why? Which part of Crucial Conversations do you find most helpful? Why?

Activity A. In groups, write a dialogue between two people in which one person uses the CC techniques. B. After each section, label the appropriate technique.