Critical Conversations Crucial conversations
Structure of difficult conversations The "What Happened" Conversation Disagreement about what happened, blame. Right vs wrong. 2. The Feelings Conversation What about the other person? 3. The Identity Conversation Self-image Self-esteem
What makes conversations difficult? Unpleasant, difficult to talk about Dilemma: Avoid or confront Delivering a difficult message
Target -What we can’t change/ +what we can Explore each others’ stories
The Steps to Prepare Get unstuck 2. Start with “heart” What is the right conversation to have? What is at the heart of the matter? 2. Start with “heart” What do I really want for myself, the other person, the relationship.
Steps 3. Make it safe Our mutual purpose Create mutual respect 4. Master the stories What story is the other person telling?
Steps: STATE Share the facts…. “what” Noncontroversial, persuasive, non-insulting Tell my story as a story Confidence, safety problems, contrasts Ask questions to understand Be tentative Talk tentatively Encourage testing Invite opposing views, mean it, devil’s advocate