American Nephrology Nurses Association Long Island Chapter Fall Conference November 14, 2012 Put On Your Own Oxygen Mask FIRST.

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Presentation transcript:

American Nephrology Nurses Association Long Island Chapter Fall Conference November 14, 2012 Put On Your Own Oxygen Mask FIRST

Set UpStressed Out Care Taking Making ourselves indispensable Martyrdom Rescuing others – “Ms Fixit” High Control Needs Hyper-responsible “Take charge” style Obsessive behaviors Difficulty asking for help Perfectionistic

Set UpStressed Out People Pleasing Lack of boundaries Swallow feelings, defer to others Avoid conflict – smooth over Others Indirect, dishonest communication Difficulty relaxing All or none thinking Disconnected, unaware of feelings, needs Self worth determined by others

Ownership Situation a Options Moving from Reactive to Proactive Want or Need Plan A Plan B Plan C

Short Term Strategies Relaxation techniques  Mental vacation  Body scan  Notice breathing Laughter Attitude of gratitude Stopping / still point Reduce caffeine

Long Term Strategies Review Energy Drains  Relationships  Environment  Body -- Mind -- Spirit  Work  Money Determine Top 5 Procrastinations  Prioritize  Decide One thing to do to get started Review Ways to Re-energize  Relationships  Environment  Body -- Mind -- Spirit  Work  Money

conflict management Communication Issues D E S C Invited Feedback Skills Sets 3 Commandments Team Agreements Send... Listen... Ask... IDP negotiation skills listening / feedback dealing with negativity

Team Building Results Accountability Commitment Trust Conflict Lencioni, Patrick. The Five Dysfunctions of a Team. San Francisco: Jossey Bass, 2002

Dealing with Difficult Behavior Situation / Behavior Approach / Suggestion Manipulative behaviorSet limits, be consistent clarify consequences Defensive reactionAsk: “What did you hear me say? Revengeful behaviorCollect data and confront Passive - aggressive / sniper(overt) Surface the issue (covert) Confront Tearful“I can see you are upset”... I would like to resolve this....

Dealing with Difficult Behavior Situation / BehaviorApproach / Suggestion Side stepping / debaterStay focused on the issue Hostile - aggressiveMatch styles -- call by name; time out; move to quiet place; “want to resolve this, but not this way Complainer / whinerListen to main points... get specific; shift focus to solutions WithdrawalProvide silence, maintain eye contact.....

Suggestions for Effective Self Management Sharpen the Saw 1.Quiet time each day to pause, reflect and refill. 2.Schedule priorities rather than prioritizing the schedule. 3.Positive thinking / re-framing.

Suggestions for Effective Self Management 4.Healthy food, rest, exercise 5.Regular time to “unplug” and just “be” 6. Break in routine every 6-8 weeks Sharpen the Saw

Suggestions for Effective Self Management 7.Laughter on a daily basis 8.Practice gratitude 9.Time with friends who nourish us 10.Hobbies, outside interests Sharpen the Saw

Three Part Process for Sustained Personal Change Focus on the behavior change -- be specific Daily practice in “doing it differently” -- integrated into practice Build in accountability and support -- consistency Sharpen the Saw Sharpen the Saw Sharpen the Saw Sharpen the Saw

Take Away Ideas