How to Resolve Conflict How to Resolve Conflict with S.U.C.C.E.S.S Presented by: Craig Valine, CAJC Vice President, Training

August 21, 2004How to Resolve Conflict with S.U.C.C.E.S.S.2 What Comes to Mind When I say “Conflict?” Conflict: –________________ The Constructive View –________________

August 21, 2004How to Resolve Conflict with S.U.C.C.E.S.S.3 5 Myths That Inhibit Positive Conflict Resolution Myth #1 : Presence of conflict is a sign of a poor leader Myth #2 : Conflict is a sign of low concern for the organization Myth #3 : Anger is negative and destructive Myth #4 : Conflict, if left alone, will take care of itself Myth #5 : Conflict must be resolved.

August 21, 2004How to Resolve Conflict with S.U.C.C.E.S.S.4 Resolve Conflict With SUCCESS S ize Up the Situation U se the Environment C ompose Your Message C onfirm Understanding and Reciprocate E ngage in Negotiation S how Commitment S tabilize and Prevent Through Follow-up

August 21, 2004How to Resolve Conflict with S.U.C.C.E.S.S.5 Step 1: Size of the Situation Act only if… –You are affected –The issue is significant –There is an objective solution –You are willing to initiate the process Determine the specific issue. If you can’t verbalize it, then you aren’t ready to deal with it

August 21, 2004How to Resolve Conflict with S.U.C.C.E.S.S.6 Step 2: Use the Environment Discuss the issue at an appropriate time Admit when you are wrong Approach your CRP privately Monitor your non-verbal communication Use space & territory to crate a neutral environment Recognize the impact of interpersonal history

August 21, 2004How to Resolve Conflict with S.U.C.C.E.S.S.7 Check Your Non-Verbal Communication Be aware of The way you look at your CRP… Your facial gestures… The words you say… The tone in which you say it… The way you stand… Your hand gestures… Etc.

August 21, 2004How to Resolve Conflict with S.U.C.C.E.S.S.8 Step 3: Compose Your Message Follow the 5-step format –When you… –I think… –I feel… –And I… –And I would like…

August 21, 2004How to Resolve Conflict with S.U.C.C.E.S.S.9 Step 4: Confirm Understanding and Reciprocate Use “URU” after delivering your initial formatted message Remember to assist your CRP through the URU. Use probing questions. Active listening is essential! – Paraphrase, ask for clarification

August 21, 2004How to Resolve Conflict with S.U.C.C.E.S.S.10 Step 5: Engage in Negotiation Remember the 8 Steps: –Define the problem –Define points of agreement –Define points of disagreement –Define desired results –Define standards for acceptance –Develop options –Determine acceptability of options –Determine best option

August 21, 2004How to Resolve Conflict with S.U.C.C.E.S.S.11 Step 6: Show Commitment Be certain to Implement, Monitor and Modify Don’t forget this step – It’s imperative to the resolution of the issue and the maintenance of the relationship

August 21, 2004How to Resolve Conflict with S.U.C.C.E.S.S.12 Step 7: Stabilize and Prevent Through Follow-up To solidify your relationship and ensure ongoing productivity “touch bases” with your CRP after the conflict has been resolved Remember: “In Conflict, There is Opportunity.”

August 21, 2004How to Resolve Conflict with S.U.C.C.E.S.S.13 About Your Trainer Craig Valine is PRIME graduate and Certified Seminar Leader through the American Seminar Leaders Association. He is a Certified Master Practitioner in Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) and is a trained mediator. Craig served as President of the Pasadena Jaycees in 1999 and has also served as US Jaycees Western Region Metro Representative, Individual Development Vice President for the California Jaycees, and Secretary (a.k.a. “Tiger Paw”) for the California Jaycees Order of the Tigers. He currently serves as Training Vice President for the California Jaycees. To contact Craig, call him at (626) or him at