Marriage Seminar Session Five: Communication II

How can two different people stay together?  Differences in Gender personality  Needs Love Communication

Gender  Buffalo/butterfly  Material/relationship  Action/word

Personality  Family of origin (shadow)  Complement/supplement ? Idealize Two sides

What things are you talking all the time?  Hello!  Information  Opinion  Feeling  Open and honest

Ephesians 4:  25 Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another.  26 Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger,  27 and give no opportunity to the devil.  28 Let the thief no longer steal, but rather let him labor, doing honest work with his own hands, so that he may have something to share with anyone in need.  29 Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.  30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.  31 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.  32 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

Keys of good communication  Communication with God  Mutual openness and honesty  Respect and accept  Self control – words spoken

1. Communication with God  Spend time together  Heart Real you Whole-hearted

2. Mutual openness and honesty  Open. Honest.  Why? Prevent temptation Build relationship and trust  How? Clarify No Guessing game Be vulnerable – ask for forgiveness Express love explicitly

3. Respect and accept  Charitable, forbearing and accepting spirit.  Why? We are all different We are all sinners  How? Things spouse not want to do Things spouse cannot do Emotional moment. Time to be alone. Respect

4. Self control –  Words spoken  Why? Destructive forces of anger Live near a volcano – fear and “pleasing” Hurt  How? Not quick to draw conclusion Avoid negative language Volume and tone Love

Practice Pray and prepare for upcoming conflicts How do I feel? Why? Exercise self-control, and openness and honest. Clarify the issue. Ask for forgiveness. On the other hands, find ways to response and express in love.