Bahareh Changizi

For many of us, small talk is hard work, but it usually leads to rapports and new jobs. If you know what you say and when you say, it were viewed as friendly, gracious and interesting. While some seem to be born with this gift, it can developed through practice. When you run into an ex-boss, the only thing that is needed is : “ Casual conversation ”

Silence your inner critic: Stop criticizing yourself. Don’t be worried about others judgment.

Being with the obvious: Show you’d like to talk about person’s interests.

Compliment-carefully: Follow up a compliment & praise with an easy-to-answer question.

Use friendly body language: Body language speaks before you do..

Turn the spotlight on the others: Don’t talk on & on, turn the conversation around. Ask questions, discover the person’s interests.

Listen: What do you do when trapped in conversation whit a bore? Listen closely for a nugget to explore. Ask “ What do you mean by that? ” Nod in agreement and say “ Oh that must have been very exciting.” Say “ It sounds as if that was tough for you.”

Keep it light: Etiquette Experts have warned against controversial topic.  Personal illnesses  Money woes  Marital problems Voice your opinion; yet avoid “ I’m right, you’re wrong ” statement. Soften your disagreement with comment such as: “ I can see we regard this differently. ”

Give equal time: Even if you want to continue talking to someone, you have to be considerate of the other companion & give the chance to them to talk.

Have a sense of humor: What do you do when even the gracious, considerate people say stupid, offensive or insensitive things to you ? Shrug it off. The person is probably not mean-spirited, just unaware.

Make your exit: How do you move on without being insulting through the wound down conversation ? Simply excuse yourself, by saying:  You need a drink  You want to say hello to someone else, …

The most people who avoid small talk imagine that everyone else in a sparkling conversationalist. Everyone else is not a sparkling. They’re just connecting. & so can you. Talking is like playing the harp; there is as much in laying the hands on the stings to stop their vibrations as in twanging them to bring out their music.