D. Calvin Andrus, Bishop Sterling Park Ward 30 August 2009 Version 1.0 A Fifth Sunday Lesson

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Acknowledgements

When should we apologize? (1 of 4) Yes or No : When we have done nothing wrong, and no one was hurt, offended, or insulted?

When should we apologize? (2 of 4) Yes or No : When we have done something wrong, and another person or persons were hurt, offended, or insulted?

When should we apologize? (3 of 4) Yes or No : When we have done something wrong, but nobody was hurt, offended, or insulted?

When should we apologize? (4 of 4) Yes or No : When we have done nothing wrong, but another person or persons were hurt, offended, or insulted anyway?

Why do we apologize? (1 of 4) Yes or No : Because of what the apology does for us, individually and personally?

Why do we apologize? (2 of 4) Yes or No : Because of what the apology does for the other person?

Why do we apologize? (3 of 4) Yes or No : Because of what the apology does for the relationship between us and the other person?

Why do we apologize? (4 of 4) Yes or No : Because it’s a commandment?

Expressing Regret (1 of 5) “I am sorry.”

Accepting Responsibility (2 of 5) “I am sorry.” “I was wrong.”

Making Restitution (3 of 5) “I am sorry.” “I was wrong.” “What can I do to make it right?”

Genuinely Repenting (4 of 5) “I am sorry.” “I was wrong.” “What can I do to make it right?” “I’ll try not to do that again.”

Asking Forgiveness (5 of 5) “I am sorry.” “I was wrong.” “What can I do to make it right?” “I’ll try not to do that again.” “Will you forgive me?”

When do we use which apology language?

When do we use which language? Depends on the situation and the people involved. Better to over-apologize than to under- apologize. Sincerity is the most important factor.

Assignment: In the next week or two, apologize to another person for something you have done, said, or thought. Pick the appropriate apology language and mean it. You can practice on a trusted family member or friend.

Assignment: I promise you, that if you pray in faith before you make your apology and then make your apology sincerely, you will feel the Spirit increase in the relationship between you and the other person. The Atonement is that powerful.

Set the scene... (1 of 4) I Samuel David and 600-man army on the run from Saul and his 3,000-man army David’s army did not forage, but treated the locals well

Set the scene... (2 of 4) I Samuel 25:1-9 One of the rich locals that David’s army protected was Nabal David sent a petition to Nabal for food and supplies

Set the scene... (3 of 4) I Samuel 25:10-13 Nabal refuses David gets angry, stirs up his men, and departs on a raid to take Nabal’s storehouses by force

Set the scene... (4 of 4) I Samuel 25:14-22 Nabal’s wife, Abigail, learns of Nabal’s arrogance and of David’s raid Abigail assembles the goods David asked for and goes out to meet David en route

Maerten de Vos ( ) “David and Abigail” Rouen, Musée des Beaux-Arts

The encounter... (1 of 3) I Samuel 25:23-24,28 (read) “... upon me let this iniquity be...” “... forgive the trespass of thine handmaid...”

The encounter... (2 of 3) I Samuel 25:23-24,28 (read) Not for Nabal’s sake, but for David’s sake “... because my lord fighteth the battle of the Lord, and evil hath not been found in thee all thy days.”

The encounter... (3 of 3) I Samuel 25:32-33 (read) David acknowledges it was in his own interest to forgive

Analysis... (1 of 4) Abigail took upon herself the fault Abigail made full restitution Abigail, though innocent, asked forgiveness Abigail was selfless for David’s sake

Analysis... (2 of 4) It was easy for David to forgive an innocent person, especially when she made full restitution David comes to see that his forgiveness was not doing Nabal a favor, but was doing himself a favor

Analysis... (3 of 4) Christ has taken upon himself all the injuries caused by others He will make restitution to us for every hurt we suffer (Matt 11:28) He commands us to forgive all trespasses (DC 64:10)

Analysis... (4 of 4) Other people do not need our forgiveness because it is Heavenly Father who forgives We need to forgive others for our own sake

So, when should we forgive? (1 of 3) Telestial: “What they have done is so bad, I can never forgive” “I will avenge the evil done unto me” “I will forgive them only when they apologize to me first

So, when should we forgive? (2 of 3) Terrestial: “I will forgive them before they apologize” “I have forgiven them, but an apology would be nice”

So, when should we forgive? (3 of 3) Celestial: “I have already forgiven every offense, past, present, and future” “I never need an apology because I never take offense”

Assignment: In the next week or two, completely and without any reservation, within yourself forgive another person for some trespass you believe they have committed against you.

Assignment: I promise you, that if you let the offense go—and you, through faith and prayer, cast the burden in your life on the Lord, he will make it up to you. The Atonement is that powerful.