1 Psychology 320: Psychology of Gender and Sex Differences Lecture 38

2 Romantic Relationships: 3. What factors determine relationship satisfaction for females and males? 2. What strategies do females and males use to maintain romantic relationships? 1. Are there sex differences in the experience of love? (continued)

3 By the end of today’s class, you should be able to: 1. discuss sex differences and similarities in Lee’s love styles and beliefs about romantic love. 3. discuss sex differences and similarities in the use of relationship maintenance strategies. 4. review factors that influence relationship satisfaction among females and males. 2. list relationship maintenance strategies identified in the literature.

4 2. Lee’s Theory of Love Styles (continued) Are there sex differences in the experience of love? (continued)

Love StyleDescriptionSample Item ErosRomantic and passionate love. I feel that my lover and I were meant for each other. StorgeFriendship love.It is hard to say exactly where friendship ends and love begins. LudusGame-playing love.I try to keep my lover a little uncertain about my commitment to him or her. ManiaManic, dependent, and possessive love; blend of eros and ludus. When I am in love, I have trouble concentrating on anything else. PragmaPractical (“shopping list”) love; blend of storge and ludus. I consider what a person is going to become in life before I commit myself to him or her. AgapePure and altruistic love; blend of eros and storge. I would endure all things for the sake of my lover. Lee’s Taxonomy of Love Styles (Lee, 1973; Hendrick and Hendrick, 1986) 5

6 Hendrick and Hendrick, 2002; Lacey, 2004: F > M on storge and pragma; M > F on ludus and agape.  Research has examined sex differences and similarities with respect to Lee’s love styles:

7 Researchers have also examined beliefs about romantic love among the sexes: Hendrick and Hendrick (2002) Used the Romantic Beliefs Scale to assess four beliefs related to romantic love:

8 BeliefSample Items Love finds a way.If I love someone, I will find a way for us to be together regardless of the opposition to the relationship, physical distance between us or any other barrier. I expect that in my relationship, romantic love will really last; it won’t fade with time. One and only true love. There will be only one real love for me. I believe that to be truly in love is to be in love forever. Idealization of partner. The person I love will make a perfect romantic partner; for example, he/she will be completely accepting, loving, and understanding. The relationship I will have with my ‘true love’ will be nearly perfect. Love at first sight. When I find my ‘true love’ I will probably know it soon after we meet. I am likely to fall in love almost immediately if I meet the right person. Sample Items from the Romantic Beliefs Scale (Sprecher & Metts, 1989)

9  Found that males scored higher than females. Significant sex differences were found for idealization of partner and love at first sight.  Thus, contrary to sex stereotypes, males are more likely than females to hold romantic notions about love.

10 What strategies do females and males use to maintain romantic relationships? Relationship maintenance is a subject of both academic and popular interest: Ten Lessons to Transform Your Marriage (Gottman, Gottman, & Declaire, 2006). Romance Rehab: 10 Steps to Rescue Your Relationship (Hoistad, 2010). Relationship Rescue (McGraw, 2007). Couple Skills: Making Your Relationship Work (McKay, Fanning, & Paleg, 2006).

11 Canary and Stafford (1992)  Asked married couples to complete a daily diary in which they recorded how frequently they used each strategy over a two-week period.  Identified five strategies that people use to maintain romantic relationships.

StrategySample Items Division of tasksI do my fair share of work we have to do. I share in the joint responsibilities that face us. PositivityI try to build up my partner’s self-esteem, including giving him or her compliments and the like. I do not criticize my partner. AssuranceI stress my commitment to my partner. I show my love for my partner. Utilization of network I show that I am willing to do things with my partner’s friends or family. I include our friends or family in our activities. Self-disclosureI encourage my partner to disclose thoughts and feelings to me. I like to have periodic talks about our relationship. Strategies Used to Maintain Romantic Relationships (Canary & Stafford, 1992) 12

13  Found that: (a) the relative frequency with which the maintenance strategies are used is the same for females and males: Division of tasks, positivity, assurance, utilization of network, and self-disclosure. (b) with respect to absolute frequency, females use more maintenance strategies than males: Self- disclosure, utilization of network, division of tasks.

14 Canary and Wahba (2006)  Found that: (a) use of maintenance strategies by females is positively correlated with (a) the use of maintenance strategies by male partners and (b) levels of love, commitment and satisfaction in the relationship. (b) femininity is more strongly related to use of maintenance strategies than sex.

15 What factors determine relationship satisfaction for females and males? 1.Gender roles: Research indicates that femininity is a stronger predictor of relationship satisfaction than masculinity among females and males.

16 Romantic Relationships: 3. What factors determine relationship satisfaction for females and males? 2. What strategies do females and males use to maintain romantic relationships? 1. Are there sex differences in the experience of love? (continued)