“Seek to laugh together more than cry.” Lou Venden

Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. Charity never faileth: I Corinthians 13:4-8a (KJV)

but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away. For we know in part, and we prophesy in part. But when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away. When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things. For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known. And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity. I Corinthians 13:8b-13 (KJV)

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self- seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. I Corinthians 13:4-8a (NIV)

But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. I Corinthians 13:8b-13 (NIV)

“No one can so effectually ruin a woman’s happiness and usefulness, and make life a heartsickening burden, as her own husband; and no one can do one hundredth part as much to chill the hopes and aspirations of a man, to paralyze his energies and ruin his influence and prospects, as his own wife.” – Review & Herald, 2/2/1886

“He [satan] is busily engaged in influencing those who are wholly unsuited to each other to unite their interests. He exults in this work, for by it he can produce more misery and hopeless woe to the human family than by exercising his skill in any other direction.” – pg 248:2, 2Testimonies, pub. 1870

Read chapters 6 & 8 this week. Be ready to discuss Monday in class. Discussion points! Chapter 6: Engagement, Wedding, & Honeymoon Chapter 8: Money Management & Career Clashes

The pursuit of perfection... ?

end

Journaling 1. What features would you change of yourself if you could? Make a list of your favourite features. 1. How is the TZ “vision” different or alike the Christian view of heaven? 2. Think back upon the time you wrote about feeling loved/secure (earlier JQ). Would you alter anything about that time? If so what? 3. What would you say to someone (imagine a friend—or a future child) who is terribly upset about their looks/height/skin color/hair/etc?

Communication

Read chapter 9 before Wednesday. Be ready to discuss in class the rest of the week. Discussion points! Chapter 9: Caring Enough to Communicate

WOMEN: MEN:

Communication patterns - humor

Communication patterns – implications for intimacy

Men and women just think/see things differently. In all aspects of a relationship...

Men and women just think/see things differently. Humor helps!

5 Temperament Needs

5 Love Language Needs

daniel e gregory site Don’t forget to check here:

Journaling 1. Research “relationship ratios” (start with the 4 articles i provide) and provide a summary/reflection of the information. EXAMPLE: what is the basic info. What implications for relationships (note that this includes business, casual, etc) can be learned. What habits might you need to begin practicing? What communication patterns do you already do? Other insights...

Relationships start with seeking to understand, which must begin with really listening which has to assume a basis of care which can only happen with trust in the other person’s intentions for good

Faith in the other person makes a difference

Unity is just that: U n I Together?: Yes!

Problems get solved when everyone acknowledges and uses their gifts for the benefit of all

Journaling 1. Using the material in your textbook as a guide, what rules for communication were either followed or broken in the clips we saw? What patterns of communication have you seen modelled in your own home? What might you plan to differently in your future home? 1. Write a reaction/process/summary of the communication patterns needed for temperaments, MBJT, 5LL and others.

“Because that’s what intimacy is: it’s a willingness to be vulnerable, a willingness to bite my tongue and a willingness to set an example of what I believe in.” Diane Lane

Vulnerability is not a weakness

What are the questions Dr. Brown suggests are the 2 most dangerous questions? a) Who is at fault? b) What should i fear? c) What will i do with my life? What is a mentality of “scarcity” culture? a) Never EXTRAORDINARY enough b) Never HAPPY enough c) Never GOOD enough What are the “normal” ways we cope with scarcity? a) Armor up b) Drugs & alcohol c) Surrender (to a higher power)

Empathy... a) Fuels connection b) Is feeling for someone c) Is feeling with someone Sympathy... a) Is where you connect with someone b) Drives dis-connection c) Is feeling for someone Dr. Brown’s definition of blame? a) Holding someone accountable for what has happened b) Discharging of discomfort and pain (anger) c) Gives the ILLUSION of control

What one response is NOT a helpful response a) “at least...” b) “wow, that must be...” c) “———” (nothing) Describe her distinction of empathy vs sympathy in the “well” example How might these insights be integrated with what you know about personalities/temperaments/gender roles?