The Relationship Principles of Jesus Mount Olivet Baptist Church Adolphus C. Lacey, Senior Pastor 1

Relationship Principle #3 Communicate From the Heart Last Week’s Memory Verse Matthew 12:34 “Out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks.” 2

Relationship Principle #4 As You Judge, You Will Be Judged Memory Verse Matthew 7:1-2 “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” 3

I. The Danger of Judgment If these words are going to have any impact on our lives, we must reject the attractive yet cowardly and false interpretation of what He is saying. Not being judgmental doesn’t mean you cannot be discerning; nor does it mean you cannot say it is right to do one thing and wrong to do another. 4

I. The Danger of Judgment Being judgmental has to do with our judgment of people’s thoughts and motives. When we dislike someone, it is easy to attribute all their actions –even good ones – to bad motives. When we like someone, we tend to excuse their wrongs actions by saying that they have a good heart. 5

I. The Danger of Judgment Jesus teaches us three things about what it means to be judgmental: ◦Don’t say one thing and do another – don’t be a hypocrite; ◦Judge yourself rightly and be willing to make changes – show you have integrity; and ◦Give to others the same kind of understanding, grace, and forgiveness that God has given you – make sure you show mercy. 6

I. The Danger of Judgment Hypocrisy is focusing on the speck in another person’s eye while ignoring the plank in your own. Integrity is removing the board from your own eye. Mercy is removing the speck from another’s eye. 7

II. Say No to Hypocrisy See Matthew 23:25. Hypocrites are more concerned about appearance than the reality of what is on the inside. And they love to put requirements on others that they are not willing to live up to themselves. Jesus indicates that hypocrisy is pointing out the wrong in someone’s life and being unwilling to consider or admit it in your own life – “Do as I say and not as I do.” 8

How Will We Reject Hypocrisy? The only way to put into practice these words of Jesus is one day at a time, one relationship at a time, one conversation at a time. “Don’t pretend that you love others. Really love them,” wrote Paul (Romans 12:9 NLT). It is easy to pretend. 9 II. Say No to Hypocrisy

To be free of hypocrisy, start by asking yourself the question: “Who am I living to impress?” God declared to Samuel, “Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart” (1 Samuel 16:7). Live to impress God, not people! 10

III. Say Yes to Integrity You choose integrity when you see a fault in someone else and immediately look at yourself to see if there are signs of that same fault in you. You recognize that the wrong you see in others may be an indication of a sin in your own life. Integrity means you make up your mind in advance to do the right thing. 11

III. Say Yes to Integrity How Will We Choose Integrity? Choose to Speak the Truth - Choose to speak the truth about yourself. Choose to Be Honest about Faults Choose to Ask for God’s Help 12

IV. Say Now to Mercy Jesus did not tell us to pretend there is not a speck in your friend’s eye or to only be concerned about the plank in your eye. He urged us to get the plank out of our eye – and then we can see clearly enough to help our friend get the speck out of his or her eye. The alternative to judgment is not tolerance; it is Mercy. 13

IV. Say Now to Mercy Being nonjudgmental means we recognize that we all face the same temptations. It means we do not see anyone as outside the circle of God’s grace, as beyond the bounds of our forgiveness, as outside the limits of our love. Mercy is not optional not if you want to experience and enjoy the mercy of God yourself. 14

IV. Say Now to Mercy At the end of the Lord’s Prayer, after teaching His disciples to pray, “Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors” (Matthew 6:12), Jesus said this: “For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you” (6:14). 15

IV. Say Now to Mercy How Will We Show Mercy? Paul gives insight into how to express mercy – See Colossians 3: Be Kind. Kind words and actions are simple expressions of mercy that make more of a difference than you will ever realize. Be Humble. Speak humbly about yourself, act in humility toward others. Humility is a risk. Yet, not to act in this manner will cause relationships to be blocked by the logjam of pride. 16

IV. Say Now to Mercy Be Gentle. Especially with your words. Gentle does not necessarily mean quiet. It means unselfish – admitting where you are wrong. Be Patient. You are merciful recognizing you need others’ patience as well. 17

IV. Say Now to Mercy Get along with people. You will not agree with everyone you meet, but you can try to get along with everyone you meet. Forgive. The greatest expression of mercy is forgiveness. “Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy” (Matthew 5:7). 18

V. Understanding God’s Mercy God wants us to be merciful because He is merciful. The secret to a heart of mercy is in seeing God’s mercy toward you. The grace and mercy of God are His undeserved gifts to us. The Bible directs all of us to come boldly to God’s throne, “so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need” (Hebrews 4:16). 19

VI. Understanding God’s Judgment Something in us cringes when we see such words as judge and judgment attached to the name of God. Yet God is the judge, and you and I are not! God is the ultimate judge, and we can trust Him. Understanding God’s judgment frees you to not have to be judgmental, because you know God is the judge. 20

VI. Understanding God’s Judgment How to Be Less Judgmental, Trust God as the Only Fair Judge Leave judgment - ultimate judgment – in God’s hands. Practice what Paul tells us: “Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written, ‘It’s mine to avenge; I will repay,’ says the Lord” (Romans 12:19). Trust the truth that God will judge fairly. 21

VI. Understanding God’s Judgment One of the reasons we struggle to forgive is because deep down we are not always sure God is going to do a good job of judging those who have hurt us. We want the satisfaction of seeing them judged. The Bible tells us that God is able to judge our inmost thoughts and motives (Romans 2:16). We can commit judgment into His hands. 22

VI. Understanding God’s Judgment How to Be Less Judgmental, Trust God’s Timing Paul writes, “Therefore judge nothing before the appointed time; wait till the Lord comes. He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of men's hearts. At that time each will receive his praise from God” (1 Corinthians 4:5). Healthy relationships demand I await ultimate judgment until His time. 23

VI. Understanding God’s Judgment How to Be Less Judgmental, Confidently Face the Day of Judgment 1 John gives us the assurance to face God with confidence. If you know Jesus, you have already passed from judgment to life. It is already settled. Heaven and hell judgment need not be your concern. 24

VII. Seeing the Truth about Yourself 25

VII. Seeing the Truth about Yourself The more clearly you see both truths, three things will happen: ◦You will be changed; integrity will replace hypocrisy in hidden areas of your life. ◦Your relationships will be changed; they will breathe in the fresh air of mercy. ◦Those around you will be changed; they will experience the loving, merciful touch of someone who knows how to remove a speck from a brother or sister’s eye. 26