Building your foundation as a helper ----Understanding yourself and interpersonal patterns

Typical needs and motivations of helpers The need to make an impact The need to return a favor The need to care for others The need for self-help The need to be needed The need for money The need for prestige and status The need to provide answers The need for control others The need for variety and flexibility How these needs might enhance or interfere with a person’s ability to help others?

The Effective Counselor The most important instrument you have is YOU Your life experience, who you are, and how you struggle to live up to your potential, are powerful tools Be authentic Serve as models for our clients Your own genuineness can touch your clients Be a therapeutic person and be clear about who you are Be willing to grow, to risk, to care, and to be involved

Ideal helper Warm, accepting, caring Know who they are Open to change Sincere, honest, & authentic Invested, willing to take risks Good boundaries Live in the present Sensitive to culture…………..more

Interpersonal patterns (see handout) Intimacy needs Need for approval from others Importance of relationships in life Preoccupation with relationships Need for relationships Level of trust Level of trustworthiness in relationships Level of confidence in relationships Dependency Needs Self-versus-other orientation in relationships Comfort with asking for help Importance given to feedback from others

Interpersonal patterns (see handout) Level of self-versus-other absorption Approach-avoidance behaviors Level of value granted to relationships Social skills Comfort in new relationships Center of attention Self-disclosure in relationship Emotional expressiveness in relationships Identification with others Conflict with authority figures Stance toward equality in relationships Source: Basic Skills in Psychotherapy and Counseling, by C. Brems (3 rd ), 2001

Counseling for the Counselor Being a client, you can: Think about your motivation for wanting to be a counselor Understand the feelings of being a client Find support as you struggle to be a professional Deal with personal issues, increase your self-awareness, and know the impacts for being a counselor Be aware of and be assisted in managing counter- transferences Therapists can help their client no further than they have been willing to go in their own life.

The Counselor’s Values Be aware of how your values influence your interventions Recognize that you are not value-neutral Your job is to assist clients in finding answers that are most congruent with their own values Find ways to manage value conflicts between you and your clients Begin therapy by exploring the client’s goals

Multicultural Counseling Become aware of your biases and values Attempt to understand the world from your client’s standpoint Gain a knowledge of the dynamics of oppression, racism, discrimination, and stereotyping Study the historical background, traditions, and values of your client Be open to learning from your client

Multicultural counseling Competence Awareness of one’s own assumptions, values, and biases (awareness of self) Understanding the worldview of culturally diverse clients (understand others) Developing appropriate intervention strategies and techniques (appropriate Skills) *Adapted from Sue, D. R., & Sue, D. (2004).Counseling the culturally diverse: Theory and practice (4 th Edition). New York: John Wiley & Sons.

Eight Racial Related Defenses (see handout) Color Blindness Color Consciousness Cultural Transference (client) Cultural Counter transference (counselor) Cultural Ambivalence Pseudo-transference Over-identification (minority therapist) Identification with the Oppressor (minority therapist)

Issues Faced by Beginning Therapists Common concerns: Anxiety and self-doubts Skills vs. being ourselves Carry clients issues in our daily life Unrealistic beliefs: no rooms for mistakes, I need to provide the “right” way to help (perfectionism) Unselfishly giving (please others) Worry that they do not have answers or solutions for the clients’ problems, fear of silence, fear of missing something (need in control) Every client should get better (personalizing) Be effective all the time (need to be valued)