Personal Statement The Second Draft

Content Review your draft to be certain it follows the prompt. Choosing not to follow the prompt is choosing to fail the assignment and/or not get accepted to the school of your choice. Be sure that the content of your essay reflects information that CANNOT be found on your application. The statement is a chance to ADD to you application.

Content cont’d Eye-catching opener Self focus Illustrative details Sensory details Cohesive story Crucial sentences for conclusion (see video)

Structure Look at your topic sentences and your concluding sentences for the paragraphs. They must encompass the content of the body sentences. If they don’t, you lack unity (same topic) and coherence (makes sense). Did you give examples to illustrate? (Show - don’t tell).

Grammar/Mechanics Grammar and mechanics reflect what you have learned throughout your school career. What does your attention to these tedious but critical details say about your work ethic?

Grammar – Holt Handbook Proper capitalization – p Correct spelling – spell check and EYE CHECK Pronoun/antecedent agreement - p No F words – Control F Consistent tense – p No R-O or FRAG Sentence variety – openings and lengths – p ; Variety in word choice – p Transitions – p. 95, Comma usage – series, intro. prep. phrase, intro. sub. clause – p , 348, 357, Dialogue – proper punc./indentation – p. 368 Numbers – p

Today Fold essay pages vertically to look at sentence beginnings on the left and sentence lengths on the right. Select three short sentences to combine into one sentence using a technique from the sentence variety section of the Holt Handbook. Mark the three sentences on your second draft and label the technique you used. Add the new sentence to your final copy.

Today cont’d. Select ten words from your essay to upgrade. (not including F words). Highlight your choices on your second draft and write in the upgraded word on your second draft. Make these changes to your final copy. Do not use words that are unfamiliar to you. Nuances in meaning can make you look foolish.

Read It! Ask someone who isn’t afraid to be critical and honest to read your essay to tell you if it sounds right, complete, and individual. Did you keep to the limit? Our limit is 500 words or so.

Format 1 inch margins MLA heading (Your name, my name, English 022, date in MLA order; double spaced only) Page headers Original title Proper capitalization Double space – no extra spaces between paragraphs. Set paragraph spacing to 0 in new Word. Proper indentation

When is it due? Final paper copy and second draft with changes marked due on 10/17 by 3:00 pm– no exceptions. Absent for any reason? Send it in, or it will be late. Turnitin.com due by midnight on 10/17. Computer failures are not excuses. Plan ahead and/or carry a jump drive.