Chapter 3: Hidden Rules Among Classes By Suzanne Denihan

Could you survive in Poverty? Directions: Give yourself 1-point for every question that you answer “yes” to. I know how to get someone out of jail. I know how to defend myself physically. I know how to get a gun. I know how to keep my clothes from being stolen at a laundromat. I know how to live without a checking account. I know where the free medical clinics are. I am good at trading and borrowing.

Could you survive in the Middle Class? I know how to properly set the table. I know which stores carry the clothing brands I wear. I know how to order at a nice restaurant. I know how to decorate the house for different holidays. I know how to get a library card. I talk to my children about going to college. I can help my children with their homework.

Could you survive in Wealth? I can read a menu in French, English, and another language. I have several favorite restaurants in different countries in the world. I have at least two residences that are staffed and maintained. I fly on my own plane or the company plane. I am on the board of at least two charities. I support or buy work of a particular artist. During the holidays, I know how to hire a decorator to identify the appropriate themes with which to decorate the house.

The purpose of this exercise: Is to examine how hidden rules function. For example, if you fall mostly in the middle class, the assumption is that everyone knows these things. However, if you don’t know many of the items for the other classes, the exercise points out how many of the hidden rues are taken for granted by a particular class.

What are the hidden rules? Poverty Middle Class Wealth Money To be spent To be managed To be conserved and invested Education Viewed as abstract, but not as reality Climbing success ladder and making money Making and maintaining connections Family Structure Matriarchal Patriarchal Depends on who has the money Food Did you have enough? Quantity Did you like it? Quality Was it presented well? Presentation Social Emphasis Social inclusion of people he or she likes Self-governance and self-sufficiency Social exclusion Diving Forces Survival, relationships, entertainment Work and achievement Financial, political and social connections

Challenges for moving out of poverty Lack of money management skills. General misconceptions about money – what it is and how it is used. How can you manage something you’ve never had?

World views from each class Wealthy individuals view the international scene as their world. “My favorite restaurant is in Brazil” The middle class tends to see the world in terms of the national picture. While poverty sees the world in its immediate locale.

Key point: Hidden rules govern so much of our assessment of a person and their capabilities. These are often the factors that keep an individual from moving upwards in a career or even getting the position in the first place.

How this applies to a school or work setting: Assumptions made about a persons’ intelligence and the way they approach school or work, may relate more to their understanding of hidden rules. Students need to be taught the hidden rules of the middle class – as tools to be used in addition to their own class rules. Many of the attitudes that students and parents bring with them are an integral part of their culture and belief system. Understanding the culture and values of poverty will lessen the anger and frustration when educators are dealing with these students and parents.

“Most of the students that I have talked to in poverty, do not believe they are poor – even when they are on welfare. Most of the wealthy adults I have talked to do not believe that they are wealthy. They often cite someone who has more money than them.” - Ruby Payne, Ph.D.