Clarity and Concision MM 270 – Writing for Multimedia Greg Kerr

Clarity and Concision Introduction Clarity Concision Summary

Introduction Anyone can write with clarity and concision. It simply takes practice and revision. Consider these samples. Which one is more clear? “An understanding of the causal factors involved in excessive drinking by students could lead to their more effective treatment.” “We could more effectively treat students who drink excessively if we understood why they do it.” Often, simplicity and brevity are the best choice.

Clarity

Clarity Rule 1: Make it Active Passive: “The cause of our school’s failure at teaching basic skills is not understanding the influence of cultural background on learning.” Active: “Our schools have failed to teach basic skills because they do not understand how cultural backgrounds influence the way children learn.”

Clarity Rule 1: Make it Active Passive: “The essay should be written to describe an experience of yours related to multimedia.” Active: “The essay you write should describe your experience with multimedia.” Active: “Write an essay that describes your experience with multimedia.”

Clarity Rule 2: Relocate the Character Lost: “The fear of the CIA was that a recommendation from the president to Congress would be for a reduction in its budget.” Found: “The CIA feared the president would recommend to Congress that it reduce its budget.”

Concision

Concision Rule 1: Avoid Wishy-Washy Words Avoid “I believe” or “in my opinion.” Since it’s your writing, we get that it’s your opinion and belief.

Concision Rule 2: Avoid Meaningless Words Meaningless: “Productivity actually depends on certain factors that basically involve psychology more than any particular technology.” Corrected: “Productivity depends on psychology more than on technology.”

“In the next paragraph, I will explain…” “We will show, with our evidence, that what we have to say is true.” “In conclusion, …” “In summary, …” Concision Rule 3: Avoid Telegraphing Phrases

Concision Rule 4: Avoid Redundancy “full and complete” “each and every” “basic and fundamental” “final outcome” “true facts” “free gift” “future plans”

Concision Rule 5: Make Negatives to Affirmatives not different  similar not many  few not often  rarely

Concision Rule 5: Make Negatives to Affirmatives Negative: “Do not submit payments if you have not notified this office, unless you are paying less than $100.” Affirmative: “If you pay more than $100, notify this office first.”

The trouble with “but” Consider these two sentences:  “You are a good student, but you could write more concisely.”  “You are a good student, and you could write more concisely.” “But” cancels out everything that occurred before it, turning the tone into a negative one. “But” may not have the same impact as “and”, but “and” can almost always be substituted for “but” to make a more positive sounding sentence.

Summary If you follow the previously stated rules, your writing can be more clear and concise. You will find it helpful to ask a peer or mentor for feedback on your writing. You must be prepared to revise. Making revisions will improve your writing.

Any Questions?