Family as sense of community and development not as a place for addiction Helena Potočnik Mateja Perše

ZAVOD PELIKAN – KARITAS The Pelikan Charity Institute

The Pelikan Charity Institute Preliminary center for addicts Work with parents and relatives Individual motivational conversations Information group Group for those relatives whose addicted child is in community Preventive programs Reintegration

Addiction as a picture of family relationships Monitoring and counselling for individual steps leading to a turn in their thinking, behaviour and acting within their family systems

Stage 1 The awareness of the addiction

Most common experiences in those families Great distress, helplessness, anger, grief and fear Guilt and accusations Minimalize or deny the truth Ignore their responsibility for the solution of the problem Shame, shutting themselves off and trying to hide Fear of being cast aside Manipulation is characteristic of all family members’ activity Co-dependency – “hyper – responsibility”

Crucial goals for the addict’s relatives treatment in the group To establish a safe atmosphere in group and opportunity for opening To give an opportunity to talk over all this feelings, to be shown at them To get support and understanding

Stage 2 Accepting and solving the problem

Crucial steps by relations Accept having no control over the addiction Admit the powerlessness and the unmanageably of the addiction Give up desires to be in control Give up feelings of responsibility for everything Accepting professional help Assessment process: they are not guilty but responsible – separate their feelings from the reality

Crucial goals for the addict’s relatives treatment in the group To provide and raise awareness that their personal transformation is of primary importance Breaking through the denial Confrontation with the destructive compulsive and repetitive behaviour Confrontation with individual’s resistance Ability of confrontation with the drug addict in the light of different action

Crucial changes A positive influence on their child and other family members Their own transformation Establishing and retaining respect

Stage 3 A full recovery can take place

Crucial goals for the addict’s relatives treatment in the group Clarifying the attachment to each other and co-dependent relationships Allowing to be vulnerable – learning to relax the perfections Farewell to the control over everything

Crucial changes To deal with the problems also at a personal or partners level resolving problems such as the fear of being rejected or of being treated unequally in the partnership or making aware of false bonds

Conclusion The basic aim is to re-establish the closeness which allows genuineness in relationships To recognize and accept the fact that pain makes our lives rich and in spite of temporal lowdown brings upgrading and a deep sense of fulfilment

Questions?