Emotions and Communication Chapter 6 Emotions and Communication

Topics covered Emotional Intelligence Understanding Emotions Obstacles to Communicating Emotions Effectively Social Media and Emotions Guidelines for Communicating Emotions Effectively

After studying, you should be able to….. Measure your emotional intelligence. Distinguish among theoretical perspectives on emotions. Recognize reasons people may not express emotions effectively. Identify the expression of emotion on a social networking site. Apply this chapter’s guidelines to enhance your skill in communicating emotions.

oblivious to others’ feelings and his own hurts and offends others emotional ineptitude adds to fun

Emotional Intelligence = EQ The ability to recognize feelings, to judge which feelings are appropriate in which situations, and to communicate those feelings effectively

Carol Saarni’s “emotional competence,” involves awareness of our own emotions, including multiple emotions experienced simultaneously, the ability to recognize and empathize with others’ emotions, awareness of the impact of our expression of emotions on others, and sensitivity to cultural rules for expressing emotions

Although some scholars think EQ is not part of overall IQ but rather a distinct kind of intelligence, there is broad consensus that emotional intelligence is important for interpersonal effectiveness.

Emotional intelligence is linked to well-being People who have high emotional intelligence quotients are more likely than people with lower EQs to create satisfying relationships, to be comfortable with themselves, to work effectively with others, and to have better overall health (Daniel Goleman, 1995a, 1995b, 1998;)

Qualities of Emotional Intelligence Being aware of your feelings Dealing with emotions without being overcome by them Not letting setbacks and disappointments derail you Channeling your feelings to assist you in achieving your goals •• Being able to understand how others feel without their spelling it out •• Listening to your feelings and those of others so you can learn from them •• Recognizing social norms for expression of emotions •• Having a strong yet realistic sense of optimism Emotional intelligence includes more than being in touch with your feelings.

Qualities of Emotional Intelligence Being able to understand how others feel without their spelling it out Listening to your feelings and those of others so you can learn from them Recognizing social norms for expression of emotions Having a strong yet realistic sense of optimism

Emotional intelligence includes more than being in touch with your feelings (like catching a cold…If we express anger, others are likely to respond with anger or defiance. On the other hand, if we express love or yearning for closeness, others are likely to respond more positively)

Understanding Emotions Although emotions are basic to human beings and communication, they are difficult to define precisely. Some researchers assert that humans experience two kinds of emotions: * some that are based in biology and thus instinctual and universal, * others that we learn in social interaction

Many scholars don’t find it useful to distinguish between basic emotions and learned emotions. Many scholars think that most or all emotions are socially constructed to a substantial degree. (For example, we learn from particular others and the generalized other when to feel gratitude, embarrassment, and so forth.)

Emotions Our experience and interpretation of internal sensations as they are shaped by physiology, perceptions, language, and social experiences

Physiological Influences of Emotions Organismic view of emotions: we experience emotion when external stimuli cause physiological changes in us

For example, when people smile (physiological action), their moods (emotions) are more positive, and when people frown, their moods are more negative. Emotional expression begins with a perception of something, perhaps seeing a gift with your name on it or noticing that someone with a weapon is running toward you. After the perception, we experience changes in our bodies: We feel a tingle of anticipation on seeing the gift; adrenaline surges when we are approached by someone with a weapon. Finally, said James, we experience emotion: We feel joy at the gift, fear at the aggressor. The organismic view regards emotions as instinctual responses to physiological

Adrenaline surges when we are approached by someone with a weapon. After the perception, we experience changes in our bodies: We feel a tingle of anticipation on seeing the gift; Adrenaline surges when we are approached by someone with a weapon. Finally, we experience emotion: We feel joy at the gift, fear at the aggressor. The organismic view regards emotions as instinctual responses to physiological arousal caused by external stimuli.

Perceptual Influences on Emotions Perceptual view of emotions (appraisal theory): subjective perceptions shape what external phenomena mean to us

Perceptual Influences on Emotions Continued Cognitive labeling view of emotions: our labels for our physiological responses influence how we interpret those responses

Social Influences on Emotions Interactive view of emotions: social rules and understandings shape what people feel and how they do or don’t express their feelings

Social Influences on Emotions Framing rules Feeling rules Deep acting Surface acting Emotion work

Reasons We May Not Express Emotions Social expectations Self-protection The chilling effect Protecting others Social and professional roles

Ineffective Emotional Expression Speaking in generalities Not owning feelings Counterfeit emotional language

Guidelines for Communicating Emotions Effectively Identify your emotions Choose how to express emotions Own your feelings Monitor your self-talk Adopt a rational-emotive approach to feelings Respond sensitively when others communicate emotions

Rational-Emotive Approach to Feelings

Common Fallacies About Emotions