DIFFICULT PHONE CALLS Use them to build Relationships, Resilience & Retention Noah Gallagher Deborah Gilboa, MD Camp Director Camp Parent

“DIFFICULT” CONVERSATIONS Why do we have them? Social struggles Counselor change Conflict Disruptive behavior Adjustment difficulty Aversion to activity Bullying Anything that might result in a negative experience especially that might be shared with family.

“DIFFICULT” CONVERSATIONS Why do we AVOID them? Reflects negatively on camp… Seems unimportant or minor… Bad history with parent… Parent is influential… Resolution in sight… Why else?

CASE STUDY: TRANSITION STRUGGLE The story: camper refuses to unpack (4 days!), but seems to enjoy activities. Says she is having a good time… To call or not to call? Next steps? End of the story:

CASE STUDY: SOCIAL ISOLATION The story: camper is separating himself from the group, doesn’t seem to be bothered… To call or not to call? Next steps? End of the story:

As parents, you can't imagine how amazed we were to receive Noah's phone call…Not just the phone call but [the]directness and honesty about Alex's issues settling in and desire to figure out how to help overcome them were far beyond anything that happens at any other camp we have been involved with, or camps our friends' kids attend. By sharing Alex's struggles honestly, I knew when you said she was fine that she really was. I realized I never thanked you for all of the hard work you put into making Josh's summer so successful! Despite some of the things that occurred, he came home so happy and is already counting down the days until next summer. PARENT FEEDBACK

WHAT’S HAPPENING AT HOME Parent’s process Emotions (fight or flight) Reactions Story Telling Parents’ goals Validation Action Repercussions SHARED DECISION MAKING!

MAKE THE CALL TO MAKE THE CALL Will the camper write home? Will another camper? What might the letter say?! Have you already solved it? Dear Mom & Dad, You’ll never believe what happened! These kids What promise are you fulfilling? Did the family notify you about this possible issue?

HOW TO MAKE THE CALL Prep BEFORE the call: Choose your message Answer MLQs Consider the family culture DURING the call: Start with your message Be honest & direct LISTEN = SILENT Present an approach LISTEN Set a timeline LISTEN AFTER the call: Log the call Hold yourself accountable, follow up!

THE UNEXPECTED CALL LISTEN = SILENT Gather your objectivity Ask for a chance to gather info Set an appointment for reconnecting

PARENT PARTNERING Present the issue objectively Clarify your position as it affects the child’s experience, independently Acknowledge your need for assistance – GOAL SHARING! Recognize the parent as THE expert on child’s behavior Discuss the approach Share responsibility for following up!!!

FOLLOW UP IS YOUR KEY… To relationships, To resilience, To retention.

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