Family Strengths Jamie Knopf

Family Strengths Summary  Families are the basic foundation of our culture.  All families have strengths.  It's about the function of the family, not the structure. There are plenty of strong single parent households.  Strong famlies produce great kids.  Money and family strengths is a shaky relationship.  If you grew up with a strong family, you will most likely produce a strong family.  Strengths develop over time and in response to challenges.  Strong families are not perfect.  Uniting around strong families can help communities, groups of people and even nations unite as well.  Strong families is where people feel safe, comfortable, happy and loved. (DeFrain, 2007)

Appreciation and Affection for Each Other  Strong families care for each other and tell each other regularly.  How to build this strength:  For every negative comment, make at least two positive ones about each other. Expressing positive feelings will make them grow.  Show affection—a simple hug and a kiss on the forehead will show one another that you appreciate one another.  Don't be afraid to say the things that your partner knows. (i.e. That you think they are funny or beautiful)  Write simple notes of appreciation and leave them on computers, on the mirror, etc.  Find whatever way works best for you to show appreciation and affection to your spouse. (DeFrain, 2007)

Commitment to Each Other  Strong families are committed to each other above all else.  How to build this strength:  Keep family above work. Watch out for becoming a workaholic.  Create family traditions and stick to them.  Make the decision to be committed and be there for one another. (DeFrain, 2007)

Positive Communication  Strong families use open, honest, clear and positive communication.  How to build this strength:  Think about what you say and maybe write it down before you say it outloud.  Agree to disagree in some areas while communicating.  During meals, take turns asking questions and listening then ask reflective questions to follow up to make sure you understood the othe person clearly.  “Listen with your heart, and speak from the heart.” (DeFrain, 2007)

Successful Management of Stress and Crisis  Strong families know how to manage life with creativity, especially during hard times.  How to build this strength:  Look for something positive and focus on it throughout the situation.  Focus on what is most important—the essentials.  Eat well, exercise and get adequate sleep. You can handle stress better when you are taking care of yourself.  Take it one day at a time. (DeFrain, 2007)

Spiritual Well-being  Strong families are connected to one another in a sacred way.  How to build this strength:  Keep open communication with one another.  Focus on the caring center inside of you where sharing, love and compassion is found.  Serve others together.  Create opportunities for intergenerational sharing about faith and thankfulness.  Write a family mission statement. (DeFrain, 2007)

Enjoyable Time Together  Strong families spent time together.  How to build this strength:  Keep discipline, complaining, fighting and arguing away from family meals.  Write in time together on your calendar with a pen and follow through.  When driving in the car, have an electronic ban (Except for in emergencies) and talk to each other instead.  Plan a family night.  Couples go on dates regularly. (DeFrain, 2007)

Reference  DeFrain, John. (2007). Family Treasures: Creating Strong Families. Lincoln, Nebraska: The University of Nebraska- Lincoln Extension.