Don’t Tell Me, Show Me! Words, words, words… I’m so sick of words. I get words all day through! Show me now!!!

Background The Sensory/Descriptive part of writing is that area which deals with the vivid description and feeling the writer uses in creating setting, characters, and action. Show, Not Tell is a technique developed by Rebekah Kaplan to help students write so that they are able to create a picture in the reader's mind. The idea is to get away from the repetition of such empty words as weird, really neat, beautiful, wonderful, and b-o-r-i-n-g.

Examples of Show Not Tell Telling: The girls were excited. Showing: Giggles and screams filled the arena. The soft curls were now damp with perspiration and the anticipation of the event. They held tight to each other in a mock effort to contain themselves. Arms flailed upward, and voices echoed in varying tones. The moment was here.

Examples of Show Not Tell Telling: The room was vacant. Showing: The door opened with a resounding echo that seemed to fill the house. Cob webs once attached flowed freely in the air as the open door brought light to a well worn floor. The light gave notice to the peeling paint on the walls and to the silhouettes once covered by pictures. The new air gave life to a stuffiness that entrapped the room. Faded and torn white sheets covered once new furniture now drowning in dust.

Examples of Show Not Tell Showing: The yellow fog that rubs its back upon the window-panes The yellow smoke that rubs its muzzle on the window-panes Licked its tongue into the corners of the evening, Lingered upon the pools that stand in drains, Let fall upon its back the soot that falls from chimneys, Slipped by the terrace, made a sudden leap, And seeing that it was a soft October night, Curled once about the house, and fell asleep. - excerpt from "The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock" by T.S. Eliot What do you think this is telling? Telling: It was foggy.

Examples of Show Not Tell Showing: "Metaphors"- Sylvia Plath I'm a riddle in nine syllables, An elephant, a ponderous house, A melon strolling on two tendrils. O red fruit, ivory, fine timbers! This loaf's big with its yeasty rising. Money's new-minted in this fat purse. I'm a means, a stage, a cow in calf. I've eaten a bag of green apples, Boarded the train there's no getting off. What do you think this is telling? Telling: The woman is pregnant.

Practice Telling Showing The pizza was delicious. He is angry. The morning was lovely. I was embarrassed. A student’s life is hard. School is boring. The math test was killer. In your Journal: Change the following examples of “tellings” and change them into “showings.” Hint: You will probably need more than one sentence to do this.