Refuse or Lose

STOP AND THINK! You will have to make many decisions STOP and consider consequences

ASSERTIVENESS Firm voice Hands on hip Eye to eye

SAY NO! “No, thanks I don’t smoke” “No you cant have my lunch money because its all I have”

CHANGE SUBJECT “that was a great game” “Have you finished your project” “Look! what’s that”

ASK QUESTIONS “what are you asking me to do” Why would you want me to do that” “What is your problem”

GIVE REASONS “I don’t want to get into trouble” “I think differently than you” “If I did that I would feel bad about it”

USE HUMOR/SARCASM “You have to be kidding; that beer can hurt the inside of my body” “Sure, that’s a great idea, then I’d be grounded for weeks!”

SUGGEST SOMETHING ELSE “lets ride bikes” “lets play a game” “lets ask John to play ball with us”

When all else fails: ignore and walk away

Role Play Verbal Refusals Say “NO” without giving an excuse Repeat the message as often as necessary Suggest alternative actions or activities Match your words to your tone Be honest Speak only for yourself Appeal to possible consequences Accept the possibility of rejection Non-verbal Refusals Avoid physical contact Make gestures to emphasize your refusal Stand tall; if needed, move away Maintain a serious expression, an “I mean it” face