Dealing with Controversial Issues and People Tim Campbell, County Agent for Community and Economic Development University of Kentucky Cooperative Extension Service

Two Major Principles Conflict is normal. Conflict is (always) an opportunity.

Meditation Methods Focus on a sound or object Relaxation Focus on breathing

Types of Conflict Intra-personal Interpersonal Public Strategic

Mediation Process Step 1: Issues exploration Step 2: Issues refinement Step 3: Options exploration Step 4: Options refinement Step 5: Signed agreement

Top 10 Reasons to Acquire Better Negotiation Skill Improve personal and professional profitability. Achieve desired outcomes and create synergy while fostering relationships. Maximize financial returns and value in negotiations. Avoid being cheated. Neutralize difficult negotiators and their tactics. Enter into and conduct negotiations with confidence. Know when and how to walk away from a negotiation. Improve personal relationships with colleagues, clients and loved ones. Build leadership and team building skills. Turn cultural differences into assets rather than liabilities.

Basics tenets of principled negotiation Participants are problem-solvers Separate the people from the problem Focus on interests, not positions Invent options for mutual gain

Discussion Guidelines Only one person talks at a time. Stick to the subject. Be brief. Be an active listener. Everyone participates, no one dominates. Honor time limits. It’s okay to disagree. Attack the problem, not a person.

Fight or Flight Response “our body's primitive, automatic, inborn response that prepares the body to "fight" or "flee" from perceived attack, harm or threat to our survival.” Neil Neimark, M.D.

Breakthrough Negotiation Go to the Balcony Step to Their Side Reframe Build Them a Golden Bridge Use Power to Educate

Reframing How can we accomplish or do “X” while at the same time accomplishing or doing “Y”?

Costs of Interpersonal Conflict Poor morale Reduced productivity Unacceptable levels of stress Sleeplessness Long-term health problems Violence Higher healthcare costs

Benefits of Being a Win-Win Negotiator 10-to-50 percent gains in productivity High morale Less stress Fewer health problems

Civility “Crude, Rude and Obnoxious Behavior Has Replaced Good Manners.” U.S. News and World Report (1996)

Trust “Proceed independent of trust.”

Uncle Jimmy Rule What should you say?

Uncle Jimmy Rule “I don’t know Uncle Jimmy, what do you think?”

Power and Conflict “Most conflicts directly or indirectly concern power, either as leverage for achieving one’s goals, as a means of seeking or maintaining the balance or imbalance of power in a relationship, or as a symbolic expression of one’s identity.”

Global Opportunity? U.S. spent $13.1 trillion on Cold War What would happen if win-win became the default mode of the world? Is this possible? Are we willing to live our lives for the “seventh generation”?

Resources This paper and other resources on conflict management and negotiation are at