Communication Workshop What?

Outline Who are you? Who are you? Good Communicators Vs. Poor Communicators Good Communicators Vs. Poor Communicators Communication: Basic Principles Communication: Basic Principles Activity #1 and Debrief Activity #1 and Debrief Verbal Messages Verbal Messages Non-Verbal Messages Non-Verbal Messages Listening Skill Questionnaire Listening Skill Questionnaire Listening: Barriers and Tips Listening: Barriers and Tips Activity #2 and Debrief Activity #2 and Debrief What are you going to do about it? What are you going to do about it?

Who Are You?

What Makes Someone either a Good or a Bad Communicator? Your Thoughts Your Thoughts

Basic Principles Talking openly about ideas and sharing with others can be scary at first but if this open sharing never occurs, people will never learn to appreciate and understand other people’s lives and perspectives, and never experience meaningful and constructive communication. Talking openly about ideas and sharing with others can be scary at first but if this open sharing never occurs, people will never learn to appreciate and understand other people’s lives and perspectives, and never experience meaningful and constructive communication.

Basic Principles The very best way to shut the door to open and meaningful conversation is to be negative or judgmental The very best way to shut the door to open and meaningful conversation is to be negative or judgmental Never miss out on opportunities to lift others by telling them you appreciate them (this will make them feel good and hopefully inspire them to pass it on – why not make yourself and others feel good!) Never miss out on opportunities to lift others by telling them you appreciate them (this will make them feel good and hopefully inspire them to pass it on – why not make yourself and others feel good!)

Basic Principles Discuss issues early on before they escalate into major problems Discuss issues early on before they escalate into major problems You always have a choice – you can choose to communicate positively with others or you can choose to remain closed and negative and miss out on opportunities to learn about yourself and from others You always have a choice – you can choose to communicate positively with others or you can choose to remain closed and negative and miss out on opportunities to learn about yourself and from others

Activity #1 Build a House of Cards Using all the cards provided, build a house. Using all the cards provided, build a house. Each person can only use one finger at a time. Each person can only use one finger at a time.

Activity #1: Debrief (Answer is small group then share) What did your group do really well? What did your group do really well? What didn’t your group do so well? What didn’t your group do so well? If your group had to do this activity again, would you approach it any differently? Explain If your group had to do this activity again, would you approach it any differently? Explain

Verbal Messages Think of how you can say something in a positive way before delivering your message Think of how you can say something in a positive way before delivering your message It helps people to understand what you are saying if you express to them why you are sharing with them (ie. Because I care about you … Or… I know you’re really interested in…) It helps people to understand what you are saying if you express to them why you are sharing with them (ie. Because I care about you … Or… I know you’re really interested in…) By evaluating the intent of your own message, you can have a better idea of whether or not there is a meaningful reason to share your thoughts By evaluating the intent of your own message, you can have a better idea of whether or not there is a meaningful reason to share your thoughts

Things to Consider When Delivering Your Message The Receiver: The responsibility for good communication lies not only in the hands or ears of the receiver – the speaker must also take responsibility for sending a clear message. The Receiver: The responsibility for good communication lies not only in the hands or ears of the receiver – the speaker must also take responsibility for sending a clear message. Before sending your message, Before sending your message, Ask yourself: Ask yourself: –What is this person’s involvement? –What do they need to know? –How should it be said to this person?

Things to Consider When Delivering Your Message Use more than one medium to convey your message if this will help the receiver remember and understand what you want them to know (memos, s, diagrams, verbal reminders) Use more than one medium to convey your message if this will help the receiver remember and understand what you want them to know (memos, s, diagrams, verbal reminders) Don’t try and sound too technical if the receiver doesn’t speak the same “language” Don’t try and sound too technical if the receiver doesn’t speak the same “language” –Get rid of non-essential words –Use words the receiver will understand –Use pictures and examples if appropriate

Non-Verbal Messages So much of what we “say” isn’t said with words So much of what we “say” isn’t said with words Voice – reading other’s emotions even when we can’t make out the words Voice – reading other’s emotions even when we can’t make out the words Appearance – others’ will be influenced by how pleasant you look and how appropriately you are dressed Appearance – others’ will be influenced by how pleasant you look and how appropriately you are dressed Face/Eyes – Your eyes can give you away (Confused? Understood? Bad time!) Face/Eyes – Your eyes can give you away (Confused? Understood? Bad time!) –Eye contact shows your involvement – don’t want to stare but want to show you are interested

Non-Verbal Messages Posture – forward leaning (comments being received well) – pulling back (something not being received so well) Posture – forward leaning (comments being received well) – pulling back (something not being received so well) - Standing tall (assertive, confident) - Slouching (submissive, passive) Personal Space/Distance – want both people to feel comfortable Personal Space/Distance – want both people to feel comfortable –Too far can seem unfriendly or bearing bad news –Too close can seem confining or invading –If someone keeps retreating don’t keep getting closer

Listening!!!! Why is listening so important? Why is listening so important?(Examples)

Listening Poor listening skills can result in disastrous consequences for relationships and organizations Poor listening skills can result in disastrous consequences for relationships and organizations Many people spend a greater part of their day listening than they do reading, writing, or speaking Many people spend a greater part of their day listening than they do reading, writing, or speaking Listening to others helps build rapport, identify needs, and shows that you really care Listening to others helps build rapport, identify needs, and shows that you really care

Empathic Listening “Seek first to understand, then to be understood” “Seek first to understand, then to be understood”

Barriers to Listening What are they? What are they? Personal Experiences? Personal Experiences?

Barriers to Listening Hearing Problems – some people have actual hearing loss – others’ need to be sensitive to this Hearing Problems – some people have actual hearing loss – others’ need to be sensitive to this Rapid Thought – Listeners can process 500wpm while most speak at 125wpm – leaves a lot of extra processing space in the listeners head which can explain why we “wonder” sometimes Rapid Thought – Listeners can process 500wpm while most speak at 125wpm – leaves a lot of extra processing space in the listeners head which can explain why we “wonder” sometimes

Barriers to Listening Physical Distractions (noises, stuffy room, other conversations) Physical Distractions (noises, stuffy room, other conversations) Message Overload – can only remember so much information – especially if it involves instructions for a new task Message Overload – can only remember so much information – especially if it involves instructions for a new task Preoccupation – hard to listen to others when there is something else really important on your mind (be honest with the other person and explain that you would like to hear what they have to say but that another time would be better) Preoccupation – hard to listen to others when there is something else really important on your mind (be honest with the other person and explain that you would like to hear what they have to say but that another time would be better)

Barriers to Listening Egocentrism – my ideas are better and more important than yours – I have nothing to learn from you, I’ll just use this time to prepare what I have to say Egocentrism – my ideas are better and more important than yours – I have nothing to learn from you, I’ll just use this time to prepare what I have to say Assuming Listening is Passive – listening doesn’t just equal not talking, Active listening means absorbing what is being said, processing it, paraphrasing to show your understanding and interest, and asking questions when messages are unclear Assuming Listening is Passive – listening doesn’t just equal not talking, Active listening means absorbing what is being said, processing it, paraphrasing to show your understanding and interest, and asking questions when messages are unclear

Barriers to Listening Cultural Differences – use of language, communication norms Cultural Differences – use of language, communication norms Gender Differences – what is appropriate, acceptable, respectful Gender Differences – what is appropriate, acceptable, respectful Lack of Training – people just aren’t taught how to listen or encouraged to practice Lack of Training – people just aren’t taught how to listen or encouraged to practice

How do I Practice Listening? Every time you engage in conversation is an opportunity to practice – try to make that person feel like he or she is the only and most important person in the world to you during that encounter. People feel good when they feel heard and you may inspire them to treat you and others with the same respect. Every time you engage in conversation is an opportunity to practice – try to make that person feel like he or she is the only and most important person in the world to you during that encounter. People feel good when they feel heard and you may inspire them to treat you and others with the same respect. Adopt an attitude that says: “I’m here anyway, why not get the most out of this experience by learning through active listening Adopt an attitude that says: “I’m here anyway, why not get the most out of this experience by learning through active listening Listening is a choice! Listening is a choice!

Activity #2 One “speaker” describes to the rest of the group how to arrange pictures so that they look like the pattern that the speaker has on a sheet of paper One “speaker” describes to the rest of the group how to arrange pictures so that they look like the pattern that the speaker has on a sheet of paper The catch: The speaker cannot see the pictures and the “arrangers” cannot see the sheet of paper or the speaker. The catch: The speaker cannot see the pictures and the “arrangers” cannot see the sheet of paper or the speaker. You can both ask questions, talk lots, and listen lots! You can both ask questions, talk lots, and listen lots! (Think about what we have discussed today) (Think about what we have discussed today)

Activity #2: Debrief What made this task challenging? What made this task challenging? What skills did you use to accomplish the task? What skills did you use to accomplish the task? Were you more aware of anything in particular as a result of the principles discussed in this workshop? Were you more aware of anything in particular as a result of the principles discussed in this workshop?

Steps to Better Communication How would you like to be able to communicate with others? How would you like to be able to communicate with others? What can you do everyday to get closer to being able to communicate the way you want to? What can you do everyday to get closer to being able to communicate the way you want to? Act on your everyday plan/goals Act on your everyday plan/goals Evaluate yourself (daily, after conversations, asking yourself what’s working, what could be better) Evaluate yourself (daily, after conversations, asking yourself what’s working, what could be better)

Thanks!

References Adler, R. & Marquardt Elmhorst, J. (1995). Communicating at work Adler, R. & Marquardt Elmhorst, J. (1995). Communicating at work (5 th ed.). United States of America: McGraw-Hill. Blundel, R. (1998). Effective business communication. Hertfordshire: Blundel, R. (1998). Effective business communication. Hertfordshire: Prentice Hall. Orlick, T. (1998). Embracing your potential. United States of Orlick, T. (1998). Embracing your potential. United States of America: Human Kinetics.