Robbery bluff was notable failure (from the Daily Mail)

An unemployed man killing time before a date decided to turn to crime to ease his money problems. He wrote out a note reading: “I’ve got a gun in my pocket and I’ll shoot it off unless you hand over the money.” An unemployed man killing time before a date decided to turn to crime to ease his money problems. He wrote out a note reading: “I’ve got a gun in my pocket and I’ll shoot it off unless you hand over the money.”

But David Morris, aged 21, failed to get any cash in spite of going into three shops in London Road, West Croydon. At a chemist’s a girl assistant refused to accept the note, believing it contained an obscene suggestion. At a chemist’s a girl assistant refused to accept the note, believing it contained an obscene suggestion. Next door, in a hardware shop, the Asian assistant said he could not read English. Next door, in a hardware shop, the Asian assistant said he could not read English.

In desperation, Morris went to a takeaway food shop, but the assistant could not read the note because he did not have glasses. In desperation, Morris went to a takeaway food shop, but the assistant could not read the note because he did not have glasses.

Morris told the police: “I’ve been a twit. When the judge hears about this he won’t believe anyone could be so stupid. I only pretended to have a gun.” Morris told the police: “I’ve been a twit. When the judge hears about this he won’t believe anyone could be so stupid. I only pretended to have a gun.”

Vocabulary turn to crime turn to crime hand over the money hand over the money fail to get any cash fail to get any cash an obscene suggestion an obscene suggestion judge judge Explain in English: