Rescuing hope for children; using approaches to resilience building that privilege responses to trauma rather than explorations of its effects A Narrative Approach to Resilience Building REPSSI PSS Forum 2015 Presentation by Ncazelo Mlilo

When working with children affected by hardships and trauma such as loss, conflict, illness, war, family separation, abuse etc, the story of their trauma and the effects it has had on their lives is often the first story that is brought to our attention. The identity of children who have been through significant hardships/trauma is often defined by these experiences. This means that children may inhabit a sense of despair, fear, brokenness, futility, worthlessness, guilt, shame, hopelessness etc

Although the story of trauma requires recognition, the telling and re-telling of stories of pain, loss, suffering etc is re-traumatising to children (Michael White, 2005)

Hazards of single stories If the focus of work with children is directed only to their trauma, there is a potential for this to reinforce a single-storied sense of existence Trauma stories are half stories; they are incomplete and they render children’s lives and existence as thin and limited in ways that are problematic

Children respond to trauma No one is a passive recipient of trauma Children respond to lessen the effects of trauma, to seek comfort, to try and preserve what is important to them etc Traumatic memory is therefore half memory

Children respond to trauma The other half of the memory consists of alternative narratives sometimes called second stories The second stories contradict the dominant trauma story Unfortunately these stories are usually neglected and not given much attention

The second story This second story is about how the child has responded to trauma, the skills and knowledge that he or she has used to lessen its effects and hold on to what is precious This story provides a different territory of identity for the child to stand on It provides a river bank experience Standing on the riverbank makes it possible to express experiences of trauma without being defined by them It creates a safe distance between the child and the traumatic experience

Riverbank experience It becomes possible to express experiences of trauma in ways that feature themes of outrage and reflections on injustice rather than self blame, failure and shame

Second stories restore Second stories provide a foundation for children to give expression to experiences of trauma in ways that are healing Once the story about: children’s skills, the initiatives and steps that they have taken to survive, the people that have supported them in hard times, the hopes they have for their future are told they become the driving force for further healing action and recovery

Second stories link children to family and community The ways in which children respond to trauma are based on particular skills that they have These skills reflect what children value What children value is linked to history, to their family, to their community and to their culture

Responses to trauma are not individual Second stories are not formed independently of the contributions of others They are linked to key figures in a child’s life; family, community, peers/friends etc Developing rich accounts of these responses to trauma, enables those working with children to reconnect children to culture, to family, to community and to history This develops a sense of personhood, pride, connectedness, history/heritage All these are essential elements for resilience in children

The work of Sue Mitchel in Gaza Working in the North of the Gaza strip, Sue Mitchell (2005) worked with children who had been subjected to tanks, helicopters, missiles and gun fire and had witnessed their homes burn, people die. The children described their experiences as follows: I was feeling my heart was small and I was unable to talk ‘I feel I am going to be killed here. I’m not able to breathe well’…. It is hard to eat or drink

The work of Sue Mitchell I often shake without control, I cry a lot and can’t sleep We are too scared to go to school The children also said that there was a strong presence of fear and of sadness in their lives

Strengthening the “survival skills” narrative Describe a special skill of knowledge that you have that gets you through difficult times Children can be invited to tell stories about these skills and knowledges’ The history of these skills is described People who are linked to these skills and knowledge are talked about Accounts of how children have been helped to learn these skills and knowledges are given etc Families and communities are invited to honour and celebrate these important skills

Survival skills-what do children do to cope and feel better? TPS from children in Gaza Before an attack It’s important to support each other, to catch each other.It’s important to support each other, to catch each other. Look at each other’s faces, if you see that someone is distressed talk to him or herLook at each other’s faces, if you see that someone is distressed talk to him or her Keep your mind on the future, imagine the day when you’ll be safe again. Keep your mind on the future, imagine the day when you’ll be safe again. If you have no food, remember Ramadan. It is possible to go for long periods without any food or drink.If you have no food, remember Ramadan. It is possible to go for long periods without any food or drink. Practise patience Practise patience After the attack Make sure you have times to be together and laugh.Make sure you have times to be together and laugh. Talk together.Talk together. Invent games that make you laugh and help you breathe.Invent games that make you laugh and help you breathe. Keep studying - this is a good way to fight.Keep studying - this is a good way to fight. Practise patience - patience is the key to wellbeing.Practise patience - patience is the key to wellbeing. Care for each other. Invite kids who are suffering toCare for each other. Invite kids who are suffering to play with you.play with you. Eat olives - the olive tree is the tree of peace. Eat olives - the olive tree is the tree of peace.

Eliciting second stories How much of your life is not affected by the problem? Draw a picture to show me how much of your life is free from the problem? I am curious about how you manage to do this, what do you do to protect this bit/part of your life from the problem? OR when fear and sadness are not present, what kind of things will be happening? What skills and knowledge do you use to keep part of your life free and safe from the problem? Who taught you these skills? Are they other times that you have used these skills, recently or in the past? Tell me a story about this You said your mother/father/aunt taught you these skills, why do you think they wanted you to gain this knowledge or skill? What hopes and intentions do you think she/he had for your life? What do you think your mother/father would think and feel about the fact that you are using these skills in your life? Who else knows about your ability to use these skills? How do they know this?

Tree of Life Methodology This approach to resilience building has been used with children affected by HIV and AIDS in Southern Africa using the Tree of Life methodology which is a tool that focuses on developing the second stories of children’s lives The methodology uses different parts of a tree as metaphors that represent important aspects of a children’s lives and their experiences

Tree of Life in Gaza city

Forest of Life in Gaza city

Collective voice After all the young men in the group in Jenin had shared their Trees of Life, the following document was made from their words. We are a group of young men from Jenin Refugee Camp here in Palestine. We are 16 years old and we remember our loved ones. Today we say to our loved ones: ‘We will never forget you. We love you and we remember you.’ We would like to send our words and this message to other young men in different countries who have lost loved ones. We hope that our words are helpful to you. And we would like to hear about how you remember and honour those special people you have lost. Thank you. PS. Most of us here support Real Madrid … what football team do you support?

Further reading Michael White and Narrative Therapy Thank You