Setting the Tone, Listening, and Open-Ended Questions

How are we approaching the calls? Look at any challenge with a positive lens. It holds opportunities for mutual growth and for improving the relationship. Keep the big picture. Help to generate options from which the group can chose. Help identify the “do-ables” – stepping stones to action.

Choosing our words… Use I-statements rather than “you” statements “You aren’t listening to me.” vs. “I’d like to explain my point of view again.” Use factual descriptions instead of judgements “Your choice of training sites isn’t acceptable.” vs. “These prices seem high. Are there other options?” Use direct language when asking others to do something. “I’ll need a projector for the training.” vs. “Can you secure a projector locally?”

We set the tone!

Yes, and....

How well you listen has a major impact on your effectiveness as a coach. We listen to obtain information. We listen to understand. We listen for enjoyment. We listen to learn. Listen, listen, listen…

Humans have 5 times more capacity to listen than to speak. 4/5s of our minds have the opportunity to wander while we are listening to someone else. We tend to spend this time formulating responses based on our own preconceived notions.

We retain 30 percent of what was said, and remember ½ of that. 47 percent of our time writing, typing, speaking or reading. 53 percent of our time listening to others.

How to Effectively Listen Stop Talking Give Your Full Attention Encourage Them Recall is good! Ask open-ended questions Respond appropriately You set the tone of the call Candid, open, respectful Positive

Let’s Practice! 2 minutes-Speaker tells story/listener practices right listening Share a story that describes a peak experience or high point when you were most alive and felt very effective in something you did. 1-2 minutes-Listener “tells back” what was told to her. 1 minutes - Speaker gives listener feedback and makes corrections Switch so other person shares their story

Ask! Ask! Ask!