Listening Skills Be prepared to take notes
Listening is the process of receiving, constructing meaning from, and responding to spoken or nonverbal messages. is the process of receiving, constructing meaning from, and responding to spoken or nonverbal messages.
Attention People can think approximately 500 words per minute And the average person speaks words per minute People can give their full attention for approximately 20 seconds
Communication Skills 53% listening 14% writing 16% speaking 17% reading “Learn to Listen.... You don't learn anything from hearing yourself talk.” from Love by Leo Buscaglia
Types of Listening LISTENING FOR INFORMATION CRITICAL LISTENING EMPATHIC LISTENING LISTENING FOR ENJOYMENT
Listening Hints The average High School student spends 30 hours a week listening. Maintain Eye Contact Focus on content, not delivery Avoid emotional involvement Avoid distractions Don’t interrupt
Listening Hints Treat listening as a challenging mental task Stay active by asking mental questions Use the gap between the rate of speech and your rate of thought Remember the investment you are making in class time
Listening Hints Sit where you can see and hear – tell the teacher if needed Review yesterday before the start of class – use your agenda and notes Be aware of what your mind is doing Use an efficient note-taking system Ask questions that clarify concepts
Listening Hints Leave your emotions behind and control your anger Get rid of distractions Don’t argue mentally Don’t antagonize the speaker Avoid jumping to assumptions. Don’t try to predict what is going to be said.
Listening Problems Cognitive Dissonance, a psychological theory that applies to communication, states that a person feels conflict if they hold two or more attitudes that are in opposition to each other. One way people reduce dissonance is by ignoring the conflict that is causing the conflict. a psychological theory that applies to communication, states that a person feels conflict if they hold two or more attitudes that are in opposition to each other. One way people reduce dissonance is by ignoring the conflict that is causing the conflict.
Listening Problems Anxiety-Sometimes we can't listen because our anxiety is too high. The Controlling Listener-always looks for a way to talk about themselves and what they are thinking about. The Passive Listener-Exerts little listening effort-listen like a couch potatoes
Forms of Non-Listening Pseudo listening-pretending to listen Monopolizing-Hogging the stage by continuously focusing communication on ourselves instead of the person who is talking Selective listening- We screen out the parts that don't interest us. We reject communication that bores us or makes us uncomfortable.
Forms of Non-Listening Defensive Listening- Perceiving personal attacks, criticisms, or hostile undertones in communication where none is intended. Ambushing- Listening carefully for the purpose of attacking the other speaker Literal Listening-Listening only to the content level of meaning and ignoring the relationship level of meaning.
Negative Listening Responses Denying Feelings Competing Evaluating Responding Defensively Giving Advice Defending the other person Questioning
Positive Listening Responses Suspend Judgment Paraphrasing/Restating “In other words, your decision was to...“ "You’re fed up with what's happening." Minimal Encouragers Tell me more" "Really“ "Go on" "uh-huh" "Go on" "uh-huh" "Yeah" "I see" "That's interesting" Nod "Please go on..."
Positive Listening Responses Ask Questions "What do you plan to do?" "How do you feel about that?" "How are you working this through?" "Have you just started feeling this way?" "What are our reasons for feeling this way?" Express support "I can tell you've given this a lot of thought." "I disagree with you but I respect your decision."
Positive Listening Responses Reflecting " You were pretty upset by this..." Identify the emotion "Are you mad at the situation or just a little discouraged?" Let the person work out the problem-- "What are you going to do now?"